• Newsweek reveals the real reason behind Bloomberg's crusade against fast food, and its not his irrational fear of the Hamburglar.

• We take it this Staten Island resident wasn't using Potassium Nitrate to make his pretty July 4th fireworks.

• Apparently, that Japanese guy's lock jaw won't stop him from sucking down Nathan's hot dogs!

• After nearly half a century, the National Park Service cheats on the Circle Line with some whore from California.

• Lastly, check out this gift-wrapped CBS headline: "Only In New York City: Pizzeria Offers Lap Dances." It's almost as though they knew we were short of material!