• More people want to blow up Omaha, Nebraska than New York City? Yeah, we can buy that. [NYSun]

• Finally! Now we have a place to keep our mace during those midnight jogs through Central Park. [NYM]

• It's guys like David Geffen that make it impossible to live in Manhattan anymore. [NYO]

• We hope somebody sent this New York Post article to Peter Braunstein. He's been out of the sex fiend loop for a while. [NYP]

• Alright, guys. What the fuck? Who let those cab driver people talk to those MTA people? [Metro]