We wouldn't pick on a niche site like Momlogic, except these people spam us every day with about a billion articles about babies and mommies, of which we are neither. So spreading their article — nicknamed "The Placenta Sandwich" story — around is perfectly ethical. In fact, it would be a crime if this story didn't go viral. With no further ado, one lady's experience with eating her child's afterbirth:

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It's summer time, which means bathing suit weather. Which means soon we'll be pondering, as Paul Simon once did in Graceland "Why am I soft in the middle, when the rest of my life is so hard?" Besides having the best music video ever, this song serves to remind us of our own mortality and upcoming middle-life crisis, which I for one am looking forward to (sports car!!!).

And we're not the only ones! As much as tabloids love to pick apart young actresses with even the tiniest bit of cellulite hiding beneath their bikinis, there are a wealth of older actors who are more than willing to go bare (and bear) on the beach, despite the relative grossness of their dad gut. Hey, we can't all be Matthew McConaughey here.

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Yes! Right when we thought we were soooooo sick of these batshit conservatives and their frightening lunacy, here comes a laugh-fest of unprecedented proportions to remind us that, hey, they're at least good for a chuckle on an overcast Friday.

What you're looking at here is a Glenn Beck 912 Project meeting in noted cultural capital Akron, Ohio. It looks to be taking place in the insane redneck crazy person's natural habitat: the sports bar. While the whole thing's a hoot, pay particular attention to the gentleman who begins shouting at two minutes in, enlightening all of us about the "50-year plan" and how the digital converters for televisions are actually "brainwashing machines."

And guess what station this beacon of insight says he turns to for the "truth"? Why, Fox News, of course. THE BRAINWASHING MACHINES DON'T WORK ON THAT CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!

Via

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is laying off what's rest of their News Graphic department, which has been pruned down to four or five part-time staffers at what was once a 15-16 man operation. How will the paper survive with no paid designers? With a redesign, of course. That's what makes sense.

I feel bad that it took me so long to get on the Jason Segel train. I always thought of him as more of a creepy one-trick pony than a leading lady's man. But after reviewing my entire collection of Freaks and Geeks I have finally (belatedly) realized what half of America already knows: Jason Segel is tall, dark, and hysterical. Especially when he's singing, which is why I've compiled this list of YouTube videos of him doing so.

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Ugh, did we all really need to read 7 pages about SeekingArrangement.com in today's Times? Blurgh, we all know that sugar daddies and sugar "babies" exist (like that terminology isn't creepy enough, did the Times have to legitimize it?), but please don't dress the site up in 1,000 word essay and call it sociology. Just because prostitution happens on the web and we call it something doesn't mean we can put lipstick on a pig or whatever.

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Man, I hate to be reminded how much stuff still sucks in 3rd world countries. But I guess since we insisted on glamorizing extreme poverty for our entertainment and turning it into the feel good movie of the year, Slumdog Millionaire, we have to accept some of the responsibility for the young child actors we hired and then screwed over. Oh wait, by "we," I mean "Danny Boyle." That guy needs to cough up some dough, because Rubina Ali and Azharuddin Ismail aren't getting any younger or cuter here. Still life of their conditions in Mumbai:

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Blah blah blah, everyone shut up about Paper magazine's Beautiful People party last night okay? If we were 1 of the alleged 4,000 people who had gotten an invite, we would have definitely shown up on time (8 p.m. sharp!) and made it through the front door to hear Katy Perry play. Unlike Paper's own editor Peter Davis, who arrived too late to make it past the mob outside of Hiro's. Whatever. Hiro's is over, anyway. Not that we're bitter or anything.

(Via: WireImage)

We can't be absolutely sure about that title, but come on—look at her: dressed like a child, surrounded by toys and easily distracted by small animals. Somebody needs to pass a law that demands porn stars have their actual and mental ages screened.

Pictures: Splash

Stephen Colbert gave a chillingly Glenn Beck-esque performance last night while riling up the fear mongers among us with the biggest threat since brown people.

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You thought the Osbourne Variety Hour was bad? Hated Parks and Recreation? Well NBC plans on outdoing all y'all, and of course we can blame it on Ben Silverman.

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ESPN magazine and Entertainment Weekly are getting a major spanking from the American Society of Magazine Editors for putting advertisements on their front page. Which would be fine, if ASME could come up with some way for magazines to make money with dwindling ad revenues making most of their remaining base anorexic. As it is, ASME should probably thank their lucky stars that someone is willing to pay front-cover money to smear Gatorade.

The American captain held hostage by four Somali pirates made a desperate escape attempt Friday but was recaptured, and officials said other pirates sought to reinforce their colleagues by sailing hijacked ships with other captives aboard to the scene of the standoff.

A Somali in contact with a pirate leader said the captors want a ransom and are ready to kill the hostage, Capt. Richard Phillips, if attacked.

Perhaps the pirates should rethink this "kill him" plan, what with an entire American warship and its crew just feet away, raring to say they literally battled — and easily defeated — pirates.

Rachel Maddow, she's a clever one. While talking about the conservative movement and their tea parties, Maddow used a phrase that we never thought they'd let past the censors.

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So much black face at Jossip this week, we can't help but wonder: is black face the new black? Keep your eyes on the trend report! And in the meantime, we'll continue our coverage of America's favorite vestige of 19th century bigotry.

Back in the early 1980s, a new shock jock named Howard Stern appeared on DC media legend Petey Greene's cheaply produced but popular talk show. In blackface. While affecting a stereotypically black accent. This is what shock jocks do, but this stunt seems especially ballsy. Then again, Greene, who was widely known for his open and honest discussions about race, doesn't seem to mind all that much. We'll let you decide.