Alright, so we know you either (a) watched every single, solitary minute of Paris' melodramatic sit-down with Larry King or else (b) consciously avoided doing so because you're busy and she's, well, boring.

Either way, you'll still appreciate the highlight of the interview, in which Paris opens up about her least favorite aspect of prison (other than the "mystery meat" baloney sandwiches) otherwise known as the obligatory strip search.

"It was the most humiliating experience of my life, taking my clothes off in front of someone you don't even know," she said.

Because if there's one thing our chaste Ms. Hilton has never experienced, it's taking off her clothes, and getting stark naked in front of a relative stranger.

Or, you know, doing drugs.