• American Idol judge Paula Abdul slips, falls flat on her face and breaks her schnozz. Before you laugh, remeber: this could happen to you. Or at least to those of you who imbibe.

• Bill Maher to homosexuals: “Forget civil rights, just make gayness a religion. I mean, you’re kneeling anyway.”

• Al Gore is, was and always will be sexy. (And boring).

• Fugs & Jugs are back on again! Apparently she missed his shaggy hair and maudlin guitar music while he couldn’t stay away from her giant flotation devices.

• CNN: “New pill aims to stop women’s periods.” Which would kind of put a damper on that whole sexual reproduction thing.