Poor Alberto Braunstein. He may be the estranged father of alleged rapist Peter Braunstein and run a posh art gallery in Manhattan, but let's not forget: The man must've fucked up his son somehow.

He went on CNN last night (we think it was CNN, and we think it was last night, despite the NY1 screengrab) to tell his side of the story — a story, if you haven't been paying attention, that so far includes a firefighter costume, rape, Page Six, Women's Wear Daily, the subways and, of course, Lindsay Lohan.

Alberto says he read about the Chelsea rape before he knew his son was a suspect and, in regard to whether he believes his son is guilty: "To a certain extent, I have to say I don't believe everything I read in the paper."

Us either, and then we saw Demi and Ashton actually did get married.