Peter Braunstein tries to tell everyone that he's not guilty of the Halloween sex crimes, but we're all like: "so why'd you stab yourself in the neck, then?"

Luckily for Braunstein he has papa to foot the bill for his defense, in which his lawyers are "considering" pleading insanity. (What's the other choice? Pleading: "I'm the devil incarnate?") When reporters asked why Braunstein Sr. was supporting his crazy kid, and funding his defense, the response was, "He's my son."

Wow, that's deep. We really hope they get this sicko behind bars as quickly as possible, because the crazy photos look worse and worse by the minute. And we saw him half-smiling for the cameras on NY1 News this morning, and it really, really, really freaked us. Even more than those Nicole Richie skeletor photos.

Accused phony firefighter pleads not guilty to Halloween sex attack [Court TV]