Are you intimidated by Pitchfork? Afraid of its writers judging your taste with words to describe music you’ve never heard of? Relax, loser. Intern Anastasia is here to demystify their reviews.

This week: The Ruby Suns’ Sea Lion

Pitchfork says:

Rating: 8.3

The cover art for the Ruby Suns' sophomore disc, Sea Lion, is a fitting allegory for head Sun Ryan McPhun: A boy on an island takes pains to try to costume himself, tangling himself in lights and string, and wearing a feather in his hair and a crown on his head. McPhun's work as the Ruby Suns functions in much the same way: Stationed on New Zealand's North Island, the California native dresses his work in global music, nibbling at the edges of unfamiliar sounds but, ultimately, skillfully creating sunny psych-pop.

Full Word Count: 524

Anastasia says:

Oh yeah, it’s another group of white kids from the suburbs with a hard-on for exotic brown peoples. Ryan McPhun not only sings in Maori, he has songs titled “Kenya Dig It” and “It’s Mwangi In Front of Me.” Kenya, New Zealand, it’s all the same!

There are also “a host of animal references” and “field recordings of animals”—although unlike most indie rock bands today, the iconoclasts in Ruby Suns reference sea lions and penguins instead of woodland creatures.

What do Ruby Suns sound like? “Sunny psych-pop” with “abstract, collage-inspired moments” and “hesitant atmospherics.” Also, they’ve been compared to Panda Bear. So they sound like every band you’ve seen at Cake Shop for the past two years with songs that don’t go anywhere.

On “There Are Birds,” the band “pines for a world where ‘there are birds and it is calm.’” That’s a good idea. Why don’t we send all the animal-idealizing indie rockers to a deserted island–or, alternatively, the middle of the woods—and no one will have to hear their ambient, abstract atmospherics ever again?

If a white boy shakes maracas in the forest, and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Word Count: 198

Ruby Suns’ “Tane Mahuta” on Youtube