Were you shocked and amazed to learn that the Spice Girls are reuniting for one last crappy pop music-making menopausal extravaganza?
Well, get over it. Nowadays, wonders never cease, nor do seemingly irrelevant former celebrities—especially those looking to resuscitate their flatlining careers.
Nevertheless, we were rather surprised to learn that the girls are all on such magnificent terms these days. Especially after our gay brother Queerty told us about the existence of a certain naughty children's story, penned by one Geri Halliwell (a.k.a. Sexy Spice) and loosely inspired by the actual experiences of her close friend, a Victoria "Posh" Beckham.
The juicy excerpt, after the jump.
Writes Haliwell:
In the middle of Musical Startroopers, Ugenia heard a noise that sounded like an over-excited army trumpet.
It came from Posh Princess Vatoria's bottom.
'Ooh, that was a good one!' giggled Posh Princess Vatoria, as an eggy smell wafted through the tree house.
So, posh princesses are just like us! thought Ugenia with amazement - a second before Posh Princess Vatoria did another, even louder one.
Jeez, quit honking that royal horn of yours, Princess, and lay off the garbanzo beans. After all, such conduct is hardly befitting of a lady.
Or, for that matter, a future Scientologist.
Editorial Director
[...] while Posh's gassy posterior has already been immortalized in a charming children's storybook, Timberlake's struggle with the bloat was only [...]
[...] while Posh's gassy posterior has already been immortalized in a charming children's storybook, Timberlake's struggle with the bloat was only [...]
[...] while Posh’s gassy posterior has already been immortalized in a charming children’s storybook, Timberlake’s struggle with the bloat was only [...]
Rumours have been flying round for years of them getting back together…I don't think "good timing" has anything to do with it. Its called being desperate. None of them have done anything in years… lets face it, they aren't that talented as a group. Sure, we all used to love them as kids but I don't see how they can gain back the respect they used to have by making one cheesy comeback hit. Musics moved on. A LOT!