Posh Spice has apparently decided that it was time she finally cleared up those pesky Scientology rumors.

The former Spice Girl (and wife of hottie/soccer legend David Beckham) has privately denied having any affiliation to the pseudo religion, in spite of her budding friendship with TomKat. And while Posh was unable to offer any other acceptable justification for her sudden closeness with loonies Mr. and Mrs. Cruise, she wasn't exactly wishy-washy about her feelings on L. Ron Hubbard and his ilk.

According to the New York Daily News, Victoria reportedly went so far as to bash the, um, religion as being ridiculous, and&even more importantly—really, really pricey:

"There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense," she told a friend recently about the faith founded by author L. Ron Hubbard.

Says another pal: "It's completely laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it's become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It's a joke."

And while we certainly believe the part about Scientology being a whole lot of nonsense, we're not sure we really buy Posh's denial…until, of course, we got to this part at the end:

As the pal puts it: "Scientology is an expensive religion; Victoria is too cheap to convert."

Phew! For a second tbere, we thought that Victoria "Bobblehead" Beckham actually had a halfway decent head atop those teeny tiny, skeletal shoulders…But now we see her objections to Scientology have more to do with her love of maxing out her husband's credit cards than her reluctance to forsake her religion in favor of real-life science fiction.

And somehow, the world seems right again.