You thought a Joe the Plumber book was bad? Try bagged-lunch lady Ivanka Trump as this generation's Virginia Wolff, but you know, without all the depression and suicide and with way more money.

Or yeah, just like Sylvia Plath, if The Bell Jar had referred to the crystal wedding gifts bestowed upon her during her Jewish(?) marriage to one of the youngest newspaper titans in the world. And used words like "meritocracry."

Ivanka , has a deal with the Touchstone imprint of Simon & Schuster to write a motivational book. "My father always impressed upon me the idea that America is a meritocracy and that you must work for everything you get," Ivanka said in a statement, adding that she hopes to share a "positive perspective with the women of my generation."

The only thing I imagine this book would "motivate" me to do is crawl back under my covers and eat chocolate until the recession is over. Cuz, you know, women of Ivanka's generation should really learn a thing or two about deserving and working for the things you get in life. And not just, say, being the daughter of a wealthy business magnate and then starting a bunch of go-nowhere businesses in an order to "prove yourself," before realizing that having someone ghost-write for you is way less of a hassle. Ivanka and Lydia Hearst, y'all: the role models of our generation.