On why Jessica Simpson is so (cough) normal:

We have a real family. You can’t just put these kids out in the world and they’re on their own. I can remember a time when Jessica was singing at Madison Square Garden and her outfit ripped before she went on. We were there for her.

On Ashlee Simpson's rhinoplasty:

Girls have their own ideas. Anyway, there was a real problem with her breathing and that was cured.

On Jessica and Nick's divorce:

I do blame 50 percent of their break-up on the media.

–Joe Simpson, manager-slash-father to marginally talented singing sensations, Jessica and Ahslee. [via Fox]