Don't worry: It's still going to be parted slightly to the left, and it will still have blond highlights, but it will be shorter—not crazy-short, but shorter. And count on the fact that it will be spiky. Possibly even more so. Some may resent the change, but change is necessary if we want to keep Idol fresh and vital.

–Ryan Seacrest, in "Ryan Seacrest Nervous About How Audiences Will Respond To Slightly Shorter Haircut" via The Onion.**

**Sadly, this story is completely made-up.