Pros: He hosted the Emmys last year, and is comfortable making bland, innocuous chit-chat with celebs.

Cons: No one left in America wants to talk to Seacrest, let alone hear him open his capped yap-trap. Also, frosted tips don't say "credibility."

Pros: As the only woman host, the German model will offer male viewers an incentive to make it past round three of their wives gushing whenever the camera pans past Hugh Laurie.

Cons: After critiquing the designer dresses of each nominee, scandal will erupt when she takes one look at Kathy Griffin and bids her "Aufedersein."

Pros: Probst is tall dark and handsome, three good reasons for women to sit through all their husbands' comments about Heidi Klum's rack.

Cons: He has a naked photo scandal (NSFW).

Pros: He'll probably enter the stage with a bevy of leggy models behind him.

Cons: Howie Mandel is the worst. Whenever you see Howie Mandel, doesn't it creep you out to imagine him doing that voice from Bobby's World?

J/K you guyz!!! Hanson isn't nominated or hosting this year (it's Tom Bergeron from Dancing with the Stars). But he's worth an honorary award, if only to make sure Charlie Sheen doesn't show up to pick up his statues for that awful Two and a Half Men.