Who needs reality TV folks when you've got Ryan Adams sticking up for Jessica Joffe for no reason? Well, we do. And Intern Calista does, too. Which is why we tied her down, again, and made her waste her summer watching The Hills and Tabloid Wars. Here's the top 10 funniest lines of the week …. come on, you know you love it. The top five, including Lloyd Grove's VD inquiries, after the jump.

10. “We were all happy with Angela’s fabric selection – it was more appropriate for this particular challenge than the full-tilt boogie, Angela-quilted extravaganza of puff.” –Wtf is Laura talking about? Project Runway

9. “Vincent kept disagreeing with me, and I was like, ‘You’re entitled to your wrong opinion.’” –Robert, PR

8. “You came just in time for the sunset.” –Jason's spews his cheese ball lines, The Hills

7. “I used to have a new boyfriend every five minutes in preschool… and I used to make guys fight over me. So, I’m gonna start doing that again.” –Heidi, remembering her slutty days as a 4-year-old, The Hills

6. “Keith… what an asshole. I’m glad to see him gone.” –Laura could care less that Keith was the first Project Runway contestant disqualified.

5. “You’re gonna have to move quicker than this if you’re gonna work in the fashion business.” – Kelly Cutrone to Lauren Conrad, who still gets offered to go to Paris on The Hills

4. “Gunshots and people falling out windows, cops being rushed into hospitals with the armed guard… It’s like a summer action movie.” –We're glad Jonathan Lemire’s having fun, Tabloid Wars

3. “Does he [Lance Armstrong] say whether or not you can get pregnant or venereal disease from a bicycle seat? Does he find sitting on the bicycle seat arousing?” – Typical Lloyd Grove questioning, TW

2. “But, have you seen the rest of the country? They’re fat, Midwestern people.” –Usman, One Ocean View

1. “Well, I certainly don’t do charity work, because I get hives when I come to places like this” –Hud Morgan, TW