In addiiton to the obvious reality shows we are flippin' obsessed with — The Hills and Simple Life — we've forced Intern Calista to sit through the torture of Hell's Kitchen and How to Get the Guy. You know, to "flesh out" the selection.

Between LC and Paris Hilton, things get pretty ditzy. Which we will happily take as proof that making fun of blondes really is more fun.

10. "What was your name again? Your hair was distracting me." —Kris to Rob during "rapid dating," How To Get The Guy

9. "Do the models get mad that the receptionist is hotter?" —Brian giving strong>Audrina his best line, The Hills

8. "I didn't know I'd be paying for anything - I'm the guest." — Paris breaks the garbage disposal, but can't figure out how to pay the repairman, The Simple Life

7. "So boring - I'm stuffing envelopes… This was my nightmare of a job." — Heidi, The Hills

6. "When I come to help you make your risotto, don't crawl up my ass like a hemorrhoid!" - Sara, Hell's Kitchen

5. "Guys who would hit on Lauren or any of our friends, they'd be, just like, 'I'm a really good guy looking for a good girl' and, uh, you're like, 'no you're really a dick looking to get laid.' That's all they really want." —Heidi, speaking the language of The Hills

4. "There's an intrinsic grace and dignity and class about you … 3 drinks ago." —Teresa dates and drinks with Kris, How To Get The Guy

3. "You should always stay in the VIP room. Like, don't be hungry and, like, be on the dance floor all night, 'cause then you look like a hungry tiger." &madsh; Paris, The Simple Life: 'Til Death Do Us Part

2. "Oh my god. Right now, I'd rather eat poodle shit than put that in my mouth." —Chef Ramsey didn't really want to try Polly's focaccia bread, Hell's Kitchen

1. "We were thinking of having a little orgy party here and we wanted to know if you wanted to come… Do you have any gerbils?" &mdas; Nicole Richie, proving she wasn't only funny as a chubby girl, The Simple Life