Most channels have, by now, engaged in some sort of contest, sweeptakes, star search in order to find the next host, talent, or commercial face of their new project. Since we delete most of these press releases, we cannot be 100 percent sure, but anecdotal memory points to networks like TV Guide, Starz, and, in one form or another, all of the broadcast networks. The only segment of the dial not engaging in some sort of gimmick seems to be the cable news division, so, uh, kudos on that.

But the lamest of all attempts to cash in on Americans' obsession with making themselves famous? GSTV, or Gas Station TV. One more time for the cheap seats in the back: Gas Station TV. Proud to call themselves "the industry leader in TV at the pump," the "TV network" is launching Wanna Be A BroadcaSTAR, the search for the next great thing in the self-service lane at Chevron. You have until May 4 to submit your audition tape, or, if that's too hard to remember, you have until the rest of us are paying $4.59/gallon. Your $2,500 cash prize should be able to fill up that PT Cruiser.