Despite MSNBC's impressive/aggressive recruitment efforts to land Rosie O'Donnell, the highly anticipated (but as-yet nonexistent) deal with outspoken liberal comedienne has reportedly fallen through.

Naturally we wanted answers, and we quickly found several—all of which are contradictory.

One "NBC executive" claims Rosie's fear of commitment was to blame, citing her unwillingness to sign a multi-year contract. (Not so! says "a person familiar with the discussions," who insists "the main sticking point" was compensation, specifically, Rosie's not getting enough of it).

More confusing still, however, is O'Donnell's own version of what transpired, which is both intentionally vague and told through the ancient – and unnecessarily annoying – art of the long and drawn-out haiku.

msnbc
one hour
live
following keith olbermann

we were close to a deal
almost done
i let it slip in miami
causing panic on the studio end

2day there is no deal
poof
my career as a pundit is over
b4 it began

just as well

Translation: Ultimately, that whole "gold-plated trapeze" thing just wouldn't fly over at MSNBC. And as a result, neither will Rosie.