Yesterday, we told you Ben Silverman's hatching a plan to court famous people (and, um, the cast of The Office) for an extra special ratings stunt all-celebrity edition of The Apprentice. And now, we hear Trump's cordially invited his arch-nemesis, Rosie O'Donnell to participate, with disingenuous promises that she won't be unfairly targeted and/or fired in the meanest, most dehumanizing way possible.

"If Rosie would like to do it, she would be treated very fairly," Trump tells PEOPLE. "Don't forget her show got the highest ratings in December and January when she and I went at it. So I think it would be very good for Rosie. And she would be treated very fairly."

Persuasive words! But will Rosie take the bait?

Not according to her rep, Cindi Berger, whose response ("It will not happen in this lifetime or beyond") leaves little room for interpretation.

Which is a shame, really, because we'd very much have enjoyed watching a just-fired contestant snap back, "Oh yeah? Well, you can take that job and shove it, you impotent megalomaniacal bastard. Anyhow, my limo driver is waiting, and it's probably about time you popped another Viagra and filed for Chapter 11, again. Oh, and nice tits, Ivanka. They're almost as convincing as your father's comb-over."