Dow Jones, blah blah. Here's your mediocre update: The current agreement in place between News Corp. and Dow Jones would allow Rupert Murdoch's company full power in hiring and firing top editors, which is, like, not what the Bancroft family wanted at all.

Though given the soundbite Time's Eric Pooley is running in its EXCLUSIVE!!, it makes sense Rupert never planned on having it any other way: "They're taking five billion dollars out of me and want to keep control in an industry in crisis! They can't sell their company and still control it — that's not how it works. I'm sorry!"

Oh, sure, there's some other stuff in there too, like how he doesn't muddle with his newspapers' editorial because he only hires people who agree with him, and a one-liner about giving the Journal topless Page 3 girls … with MBAs.