The Motherland is schooling the United States on how to run their own magazines: Apparently "fashion journalism" emphasizes both words equally in Russia, which makes everyone crowding those tents here in Bryant Park this week look like, well, fashion bloggers.

Aliona Doletskaya is the editor over at Russian Vogue, and the qualifications she brings to the table as a reporter and editor outnumber the amount of haircuts Anna Wintour receives on a yearly basis. Dolestkaya holds a Ph.D. in comparative linguistics and said a recent cover photo for the glossy epresents “the Byzantine past of the country.”

Byzantine, smyzantine. Would Doletskaya have the яи́чки to put African-American basketball player Lebron James on the cover of Vogue, looking like a damn dirty ape? How about taking the brand name to India and dressing those below the poverty level in Burberry to better shill $3,000 umbrellas to people who live off of less than a buck twenty five a day?

Nope? Then get back to us when Doletskaya is ready to play in the big (racist) leagues.