America must have passed around some sort of petition saying they wanted their next Rupert Murdoch to have frosted tips and a tiny snub nose, because how else would you explain why Ryan Seacrest is becoming the next media mogul? Sorry, not mogul, "media player," which is what happens when someone like Seacrest decides to split from William Morris and take his agent with him (that's a buy out) to start his own empire. Young Anakin Seacrest will soon be Ryan Seacrest Inc. — he's already attached his name to Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve — not surprising since the man has his hand in every honey pot in town (except the one that is a euphemism for vaginas).

Seacrest not only make $12.5 million per season for American Idol and almost twice that for a 3-year contract with E! Entertainment, but the guy is literally his own brand in about eight different ways (Ryan Seacrest Productions, radio show On Air With Ryan Seacrest, Seacrest Sales, and radio division Sea Calm). Which seems incredible because honestly, the man is a cipher. If all it took to make a fortune was blond hair and an annoying smile, than half Orange County would already be famous. Oh wait.