Do you, like us, ever wonder what it feels like to be cast as "Fat Girl #3" or "Pimply Loser #1" in those stupid teen movies? It can't be good for the soul, right? We guess it's a good thing, then, that ex-American Idol Sanjaya Malakar, who was just tapped to be the next star of Nationwide Insurance's humiliating "Life Sucks for Me" ad campaign, relinquished his soul, charisma and manhood a long, long time ago to Fox.

Like MC Hammer's and Kevin Federline's before his, Malakar's Nationwide commercial makes light of the fact that almost literally overnight he went from celebrity to That One Guy Who Was on That Show Once. Unlike Nationwide's past efforts, this time the company takes full advantage of their star's ethnicity. Intent on capturing the attention of the large uninsured South Asian market, Malakar's commercial finds him telling his troubles to an overweight guru named Guruji. Targeted!

What a good sport Sanjaya is. Especially considering the fact that he's about to super famous again: "'…if you’re going to continue being an entertainer, be in the media, you have to have some humor about yourself,' said Mr. Malakar, who said that in addition to working on an album he was pursuing deals for a book, a reality TV show and a video game." Hey, Sanjaya, stock up some of that insurance while you get a chance, bud. Not that this Sanjaya Malakar video game isn't going to be a huge hit, but we're just sayin'.