With everybody so concerned whether it's Jared Paul Stern or Ron Burkle who's the real sleaze in the Paid $ix scandal, we wanted to get to the heart of the more important issue at hand: What does all of this mean for Skull & Bones, the T-shirt (and polo, and ties, and belts, and cufflinks) line from JPS that Burkle supposedly wanted to "invest" in.

So we did what any real journalist ought to: we picked up the phone. But rather than call JPS (which yielded mixed results in the past), the feds, or Burkle's talking head, we decided to call the stores that carry Stern's Skull & Bones. Lucky for us, there's a whole list of 'em on the website. Forthwith, our results.

AS Parker
Madison Ave and 77th Street
The phone went unanswered. Twice. And that's really all we have time for.

Veri Peri Parker
Palm Springs, CA
They weren't sure if they carried Skull & Bones. But kudos to them for being in the retail store at 9am local time.

Snappy Turtle & Love Shack
Delray Beach, FL
All Skull & Bones items were sold out at Snappy Turtle. At Love Shack, all men's items were sold out, and they weren't expecting another order till .. the fall! Horror.

Wonderland
West 13th at 9th Avenue
This is your best bet. They do, definitely, carry Skull & Bones gear, and even have some in stock! They've got orange, brown, and green polos on the racks, alone with two ties, and one set of cufflinks. When asked whether sales have been more brisk since the Paid $ix scandal, the answer was much-thought-about "no."

Cynthia Rowley
East Hampton, NY
The phone number was out of service.

Calling five different numbers was quite an endeavor for us and, quite frankly, we're exhausted. But suffice to say, it appears the outfits offering Skull & Bones appear to be numbered. So if you're looking to support JPS aside from wearing one of those other T-shirts, you best get your ass to Wonderland with your BlAmEx in hand.

Skull & Bones [Official Site]
Related: All Paid $ix coverage