To the dismay of warm-blooded males and Woody Allens everywhere, Scarlett Johansson got herself married off in a quickie ceremony this past weekend. The 23-year old bombshell wed actor Ryan Reynolds, best known for his work in Blade:Trinity and for his ability to resemble a slightly more angular Dane Cook. The small ceremony took place in Vancouver, attended only by the immediate family of the bride and groom. Barack Obama was not present, despite the pair's close friendship.

This wedding came as a shock to the majority of the world who hadn't bothered keeping tabs on who ScoJo was boning, but the couple became engaged in May after a year of dating, and held a "rushed" ceremony this past weekend. How long, do you think, before Scarlett and her hubbie (who is coincidentally Alanis Morissette's second most famous ex after Dave Coulier) announce they are expecting? Canadians celebrities have ambiguous shotgun weddings too, you know.

Or perhaps the quick marriage was to ensure Johansson's Canadian citizenship, just in case McCain wins the election and the actress needs to save face by moving to Canada, the way all those liberals in 2004 threatened to do if Bush was reelected.