At one point in our lives, we cared about how we looked, and only because we were sometimes seen in public. During that time, we often read Self Magazine, the Conde Nast guide to looking like a tightrope walker.

And it's funny. We don't really remember them promoting eating anything, let alone, cookies. They have like 400 calories each! Conde's can't eat that stuff, they won't fit into their Sevens. Oh, wait. Is giving this 'gift' to their advertisers sort of like how anorexics are always trying to feed people and stuff? And what's Cookie gonna send now?

HOLIDAY SWAG WATCH: DAY ONE [Ad Age]