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Vince Shlomi, spokeswhore for that magical ShamWow sponge-towel thing, was arrested in Miami (it's always Florida, isn't it?) last month for beating up a hooker in his fancy hotel room, The Smoking Gun has learned. Sounds terrible! But Shlomi says he had good reason to punch Sasha Harris, who is 18 years his junior, several times in the face: according to him, when he went to kiss Harris, she "bit his tongue and would not let go." Vampire hooker!
Only Shlomi and Harris really know what happened that night, but there's one thing we're sure of: there goes the easiest job that schlub Shlomi ever had.
Click through for Sasha Harris mugshots from two arrests prior to last month's incident. Honestly, cuter than we expected!
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Im telling yous, Miami has a much better class of hookers (*sigh* I miss Miami…)
And here I just thought the Sham Wow guy was only a meth addict…
At least she only bit his tongue. She could have Slap Chopped his nuts. That would have been worse.
http://www.slapchop.com
WOW - he looks like he had been in a rake fight and didn't have a rake.
(Does anyone know the best way to avoid getting a Vampire hooker?
Yeah, I know the best way to avoid a vampire hooker.
Do NOT kiss them. They HATE that.
Jeezuz, that man has some HARD road miles! I am almost 50 and look better than him.
Wow.
I used to think he was cute, but that was when he was lower res on video.
Hey, Billie Mayes here, do you have a shirt that has a blood stain!?
Put on this hospital gown, go ahead and put that coat over it. That's right.
Let's see if this oxyclean can get out vampire hooker blood!
Oxyclean got out the hooker vampire blood!!!
I don't think that there is anything we can do about that dislocated sideways jaw though.
Hey, Billie Mayes here, I was getting a little worried about my job security. I'm all set now.
And the happy couple will be walking down the aisle in a lovely Wedding this spring…
@Billie Mayes: Billie, I blame you for this whole fucking thing!
Damn. I loved those ShamWow ads. He shoulda known not to kiss a hooker. They don't like kisses.
But enough about him. My HOUSE BURNED DOWN LAST NIGHT. It was vacant and for sale, but still. I had two buyers battling it out, and now I have a shell of a house. I just hope my insurance is okee-dokee. My husband takes care of all that crap, and they haven't sent any notices lately, so I'm going to go with it's okay. But who knows? Geeeez. It it's not one thing, it's another.
@bam-a-lam: keep us posted. I had a fire that destroyed my apartment once and had a year long funfest with the insurance company. Good luck to you.
@fanofgrendel: Thanks for the support. My agent is apparently out of town and I had to leave her a voice mail. Get this: not a single cop showed up during the fire, and they have yet to show up to take any type of statement. Neighbors saw a man running from the house, but nobody cares enough to interview them. I guess the insurance adjuster will do the interviewing. Life in the slow lane. Arson is rampant here, and supposedly there is some type of initiation into a "gang" that involves burning a house down. This is the Wild West, where you are pretty much on your own. I just went and looked at it, and it was totally depressing.
Hey, Billie Mayes here,
Yeah, I kind of blame myself too.
If you hear any rumours that Sasha is my cousin, and that this was an elaborate scheme to bite out Vince's tongue thus reducing my competition, well, it's simply not true.
Besides, I happen to know that Ron Popeil was a client of hers.
He's probably the one who put her up to this, not me.
Bam,
I just saw your post, take care. Keep us updated, ok
I had water damage after a bad storm and insurance company was amazing. I think it all depends on who you got. Was in a bad car accident and car insurance was miserable. Good luck, friend.
He wouldn't have gotten in this mess if he wasn't with "a hooker" in the 1st place. And keep your comments about miami to yourself people; you got this pre-mind set that is sort of pathetic in a way. Go out instead of hiring people who help the divorce rate climb.
@Rhonda: Thanks, Rhonda. I meet the adjuster tomorrow. I'm a bit freaked out, having never dealt with this kind of thing before. I guess I'll find out tomorrow what kind of policy I actually have. Had. Whatever. Yikes. I kinda hate owning anything. It'a all such a pain in the ass. I wanna go back to when I had nothing extra, but everything I has was mine. I was just happy to be alive.
good luck bam. my homeowner's insurance company was pretty speedy, and with arson you should have an open and shut case (storm damage I hear is a pretty long wait).
@weezy: I'm waiting on pins and needles. I wondered about arson. I'm assuming that's what it was, I have no idea. We had decided not to rent it again, but had a couple of interested buyers. If nothing else we were planning to move some things over there and use it as an office. Our home is crowded with stuff and we need more room. I guess we'll have a lot of room on a vacant lot.
any of you all seen fanofgrendel around today?
you see him you tell him i say hey
him and me got some stuff to discuss some more
my head hurts so bad all the morning
I think she is cute
she is cute
she is cute to think she is a hooker