In an unforeseen utilization of his presidential powers, George W. Bush has astounded the nation by electing to commute the sentence of former adviser Scooter Libby. Libby, whose request to "remain free on bail while pursuing his appeals for the serious convictions of perjury and obstruction of justice" was denied by the United States Court of Appeals yesterday, and was most likely already changing into his prison jumpsuit when he got word that his old pal (and former boss) W. had unexpectedly come to the rescue.

President Bush explains his decision, after the jump.

Writes the President:

Mr. Libby was sentenced to thirty months of prison, two years of probation, and a $250,000 fine. In making the sentencing decision, the district court rejected the advice of the probation office, which recommended a lesser sentence and the consideration of factors that could have led to a sentence of home confinement or probation.

I respect the jury’s verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby’s sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.

And though Scooter is undoubtedly still reeling from the news that he won't be following in Paris Hilton's footsteps, President Bush reminds us that Libby will nevertheless be harshly punished for his actions, writing that "the consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant, and private citizen will be long-lasting."

And by "long-lasting," we respectfully understand the president to mean "until I rely, once more, on the presidential power of clemency to clear you of any official wrongdoing, reinstate you in the administration, and issue a presidential pardon shortly before leaving office."

But don't worry, Mr. President. We'll still act surprised.