Friends with benefits rarely works out research shows.

The first study of FWB found that only one-tenth of these “friendships” went on to become relationships became that included the $14 pasta special. Almost every else who engaged in them messed up their friendships and sex life.

Paradoxically, and perhaps predictably, the study suggests, these physical friendships often occlude one of the emotional arteries of real friendship, openness. Friends who could once talk about anything now have an unstated taboo topic — the relationship itself. In every conversation, there is innuendo; in every room, an elephant.

Well, duh.

Old people these days: they just don’t get our self-destructive mating rituals. Instead of marrying the wrong person, we just fool around with the wrong person. Relatively speaking, that's not so bad.