The G Funk Era may finally be coming to a close. Apparently, in an Obamanation, the powers that be believe it's no longer cool to prostitute women, sell drugs and kill. What have we become?
Sadly, this shift to the high road has put one of the nation's most beloved gangsters temporarily out of work. MTV has decided to ax 50 Cent's reality program, The Money and the Power, in order to make room for shows consistent with its rebranding efforts, which have gotten a lot more high-minded since November 4:
Our new shows will feature themes of affirmation and accomplishment,” says Brian Graden, president of entertainment at MTV Networks music channels and president of Logo. “Our shows are going to focus less on loud and silly hooks and more on young people proving themselves. These are themes that are consistent with the Obama generation.”
Thanks, MTV, for finally realizing that black people who don't talk about cash and bitches can be interesting, too.
Either Kanye West is feeling less than confident in the selling-power of his new album, 808s and Heartbreak, or he doesn't want anyone stealing his thunder. This is Kanye West we're talking about, so it's definitely the latter.
If the rumor floating around is true, if, indeed, 50 Cent is about to ink a $300 million, 360 deal with arch-conservative media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s Myspace to rival Jay-Z’s measly-by-comparison $100 million deal with Live Nation, then this would be huge, ground-breaking, major front-page news.
50 Cent is going to interview Paris Hilton for Myspace’s celebrity-on-celebrity interview series. Some wonder how they'll fill the time, but they share a past and possibly probably a rash. It shouldn't be a problem.
• 50 Cent pulls an Amy Winehouse. Intern Whitney explains, "A tv crew had the go-ahead to go into his dressing room and when the camera walked in he and his entourage were all over a table snorting something." Action starts around the 1:35 mark.
• Incredibly well connected daughters of politicians: they're just like us!
• Britney Spears' exonerated baby-daddy JR Rotem has apparently hit the internets in search of a "hot Jewish girl."
• Jenna Bush reminds us how much more we'd like her easygoing dad, if only he weren't sitting in the oval office.
• Oprah and Gayle fail to make People's 2007 list of the "Cutest Celebrity Couples." Better luck next year, girls!
• Everyone check out our boss' glamorous big-screen debut!
According to rapper-slash-property owner 50 Cent, "You don't have to buy a $50 million home to build a lifestyle that's equivalent." Of course, that proverbial widsom didn't stop 50 himself from investing in a decadent 52-Room, $10 million residence, but you get the point. Besides, he's trying to sell! After which point, the rapper avows, his future house "might be a lot smaller…the basics—maybe four or five bedrooms." Then again, odds are it might not. [Stereohyped]
Days ago, Kanye West lashed out at a beleaguered Britney Spears, stating the obvious ("I can’t believe she would perform [at the VMA's]—she hasn’t had a hit record in years”) and citing racism—and, presumably, poor taste—as the underlying reason behind MTV's questionable choice.
When asked for his comments again after Spears' show-opener, an uncharacteristically speechless West replied, "I have no words."
For those of you who missed it, Spears' lethargic VMA's performance was certainly a (lackluster) sight to behold. Picture, if you will, the slightly overweight washed-up pop star, clad only in an ill-fitting black bikini, lip-syncing lazily to her brand new hit single while halfheartedly gyrating against her nubile male dancers.
Now picture it again, except this time think "exponentially more awkward."
Jann Wenner's always-relevant Rolling Stone magazine apparently misses the memo that the Kanye West/50 Cent feud was just a publicity stunt.
• NBC announces plans to bring back campy pro-steroids infomercial, American Gladiators. "Yes!" cheers "Viper," before remembering that he's 45 and hasn't had any testicles since 1994.
• "Lindsay Lohan hasn't looked this good in years," observes OK! editrix Sarah Ivens, who diplomatically neglects to point out that Lohan's only made it to ripe old age of 21.
• And, the winner of the 2007 Air Guitar Championships at Irving Plaza is…some guy with weird chest hair who lives in his mother's basement. [Ed: Again??]
• Adrian Grenier is on a one-man mission to catch chlamydia.
Anyone who's been following the latest news in Hip-Hop knows it's "on" between oft-shot rapper 50 Cent and rapper/producer Kanye West. And barring any unforeseen production delays, tabloids scandals or multiple gunshot wounds, both have albums scheduled to drop on September 11. But will Kanye West's Graduation outsell 50 Cent's Curtis on opening day?
50 Cent sure doesn't think so! In fact, he's even willing to bet on it, in a transparent attempt at boosting record sales. Nothing crazy, though!
Just the fate of his entire musical career.
• Jimmy Fallon subjected to alcohol-free flight, despite his insistence that flying (much like Jimmy Fallon movies) is only tolerable after obscene amounts of booze.
• 50 Cent is determined to make sure his VH1: Behind the Music episode ends differently than MC Hammer's.
• Paris Hilton may or may not be sleeping with Stavros Niarchos, who may or may not be fantasizing that he's back with MK "Ribs" Olsen.
• Jessica Simpson is reportedly dating unfunny funnyman Dane Cook.
• Diddy's baby mama has decided to pack her bags, and find herself a new man who won't strike up a platonic friendship with Sienna Miller.
• Chris Tucker apparently does an excellent Bill Clinton impression, but somehow we don't think we'll be getting them mixed up anytime soon.
• Lindsay Lohan's dad doesn't know how to spell his own daughter's name. Talk about "inadequite!"
• Did 'roid rage have anything to do with WWF wrestler Chris Benoit committing a murder-suicide? Or was this just a simple case of pure, unadulterated crazy?
• Are we really surprised to learn that the only people capable of playing 50 Cent and Ludacris are…50 Cent and Ludacris?
• Who knew Alicia Silverstone would suddenly become such a breakout star?
• The next time you mess with Reichen Lehmkuhl (who??) don't be surprised when he slaps you with a 3-page crazyrant.
• Ted Casablanca reveals the secret behind Angelina's rapid weight loss. You guessed it: Black tar heroin.
• Kate Moss tells Pete Doherty that she'll only marry him if he can lay off the crack-pipe. Doherty responds to this ultimatum by writing, "Smack and needle-free we shall marry in the summer and I become 10 times happier than any given smackhead. Huzzah!" Yeah, good luck with that whole marriage thing, Kate.
• Paris Hilton is sick, tired of being used by the media without whom she would be nothing.
• Hotelier Andre Balaz to give the Chelsea Hotel the "Chateau Marmont" treatment. Plans include completely renovating the interior, and stocking the Star Lounge with Moet champagne, trendy ottomans and the Olsen twins.
• Meanwhile, Chad Michael Murray isn't just a mediocre actor who enjoys marrying barely legal teenagers and then promptly cheating on them. He's also a nightmare ex!
• Kim Kardashian is looking for love the only way she knows how: by hanging with Britney Gastineau, and then begging people to introduce her to Pharrell Williams before settling for Fabolous instead.
• Rapper 50 Cent is into having into having sex, he ain't into making love. But apparently, he is into holding hands with the middle-aged Dutchess of York.
• Christina Aguilera could possibly, maybe, conceivably (ha!) be pregnant with hubby Jordan Bratman's lovechild.
• 50 Cent stands to lose a big chunk of his Vitamin Water earnings due to baby mama drama. Related: Fiddy's 10 year-old son's allowance expected to increase by 8000%.
• Lindsay Lohan extends her rehab stay indefinitely, explaining: 'You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.'
• Meanwhile, Pure Nightclub finally comes to the sobering realization that LiLo's birthday bash ain't happening.
• "Kirsten" (the MILF from The OC) lands herself a real-life sugar-daddy. Only problem is, he's a Canuck.
As we write this, we’re looking out the window and salivating over the picture perfect weather outside, currently being wasted on lazy unemployed persons and pretentious NYU students. And so, for your sanity and ours, we’ve decided to kick off a glorious new feature called “Comment of the Day,” to provide a transient glimmer of entertainment for all you working stiffs who would much rather be downing margaritas poolside on the Jersey Shore (while fending off advances from married, guidos named Tony) than slaving away in your cubicles.
Today’s “Comment of the Day” comes to us from Vh1 Blog, and it regards 50 Cent's latest self-induced feud with Oprah, presumably over her hatred of hip hop music and so-called lack of "street cred." As always, the rapper's provocative remarks (i.e. "she can escape the fact that she's black because she's a billionaire") prove somewhat polarizing, forcing respondents to choose between their love for the artist who brought them "In Da Club," and their most favorite talk show host in the whole entire universe.
The unsurprising results, after the jump.
• 50 Cent announces he'll be leaving the music biz to focus his energies entirely towards his one true passion: getting shot.
• Orlando Bloom is ready to fall in love, still hoping against hope that he'll find Mr. Right an awesome new girlfriend.
• Kanye West: "I've known my mom since I was zero years old. She is quite dope." Fortunately for Mrs. West, her son is kind of a "dope" as well.
• Oprah Winfrey learns her father is writing a tell-all about his famous progeny; the book is said to be less fictitious than James Frey, and almost as boring as "The Secret."
• Check out all the accomplished politicians, Pulitzer Prize winning authors and billionaires who were once rejected by Harvard admissions! It's all kind of empowering, until you remember that your parents are still paying your cell phone bill.
• Meanwhile, Britney Spears naively hopes a B-12 shot will put the "zap" back into those lip-syncing routines.
• Those zany Wilson brothers are at it again! Their latest hijinks? Firing their own mother! Oh, the tomfoolery…
Got $10 million to burn? Well, why not spend it on 50 Cent's 52-room Connecticut mansion! Forget standard amenties like heat and A/C. The gun-toting rapper's tricked out pad has a helicopter pad, an infinity pool and spa and a movie theater. And that's just the beginning.
[The mansion] features about 18 bedrooms, 37 bathrooms, a gym, duel billiard rooms, racquetball courts and a disco. The asking price is unknown, but local brokers – who tell the paper the house could be a small hotel were it not for zoning laws – estimate that it is more than $10 million…
"He's put a lot into it, and it's all very tasteful, except the stripper poles," Curt Clemens Sr., owner of Century 21 Clemens & Sons in Hartford, tells the paper.
"All very tasteful except the stripper poles?" Yes, of course. Because the heliport, movie theater and 37 bathrooms all scream "understated class."
• TomKat prove their highly publicized love is real by dry-humping on a table in front of tons of grossed-out celebs.
• Prince proves he's still a sexually-charged guitar god by "plucking his strings" behind the magic curtain.
• Jade Jagger proves the apple doesn't fall far from the tree by acting like a drunken shitshow mess on a Virgin Atlantic flight.
• 50 Cent proves his luck is picking up by banging hip-hop hottie Ciara and not getting shot.
• Mandy Moore proves she'd never diet for a role by dissing Nicole "Toothpick" Richie. (Ironically, Moore says nothing about whether or not she'd fake-date DJ A.M. (a.k.a. Richie's ex) for publicity).
• Ron Jeremy proves that while looks eventually fade, gargantuan penises are capable of wooing racist hotel heiresses until the end of time.
In an astonishing stroke of good luck, rapper 50 Cent managed to escape completely unharmed from the December 7th shootout that left Power 105's Carlos "DJ Blaze" Rivera dead on Saturday.
Although Blaze died this weekend from bullet wounds he sustained in the attack earlier this month, 50 Cent (born Curtis Jackson) surprised friends and family by coming away from the incident entirely unscathed. Although sheer luck was perhaps the main factor behind Cent's surviving the shootout, the frequently shot-at rapper's near miss has also been attributed to his not having been anywhere near the vicinity of the gunfire.
A relieved insider mused, "When we first heard someone got shot a dozen times, we were like, 'Damn, Fitty, not again!' But then we heard it was actually some radio DJ guy, and that at the time of the shooting, 50 Cent was kicking back on his yacht somewhere off the coast of St. Tropez."
Supporters of 50 Cent have acknowledged that this is an "emotional and trying" time, but are reportedly staying positive about the uninjured rapper's prognosis. Meanwhile, Power 105.1 aired a tribute broadcast this past Saturday night in honor of the somewhat less fortunate DJ Blaze.
• Russell Simmons (seen here plugging something at Art Basel), puppet for corporate America? The audacity!
• Saturday Night Live once again ripping off the lesser knowns?
• Samuel L. Jackson and 50 Cent get over their feud to make a movie and make money, make money.
• LaLo ditches celeb friends, alcohol to party with her nobody gal pals, water.
• Paris Hilton and Britney Spears aren't lovers. They're just one-week friends who will have nothing to do with each other after the New Year.
• Lane Garrison's car crash could've been prevented if he would've settled for Absolut.
• Gwyneth Paltrow makes her real estate decisions based on public attitude toward her.
• Rosie O'Donnell draws local ire.
