Now that we're all broke and just days away from trudging around a scorched earth and fighting gangs of rapists for food like in The Road, everyone's got one big question on their minds: How? How the hell did I get here? (This is not my beautiful wife!)
If you're lucky, perhaps you're going, "How the hell am I flying coach all of a sudden? The company used to put me in business." If you're like us, your query has been: "How the hell did I not know well vodka tastes just like expensive vodka?" Alas, if you're one of the 850 people who were recently shitcanned from Viacom, it is well within your right to ask, "How the hell did I get fired while Spencer fuckin' Pratt gets to keep his job?" Good question, friend.
Here's our rundown* of how many hardworking Viacom employees could have been spared if MTV had trimmed the fat over at its glorified nursery, The Hills. CONTINUED »
All those rumors circulating about Chris Matthews running for Pennsylvania senate? Well they might be true. Or they might not be, so nothing new on that front. However, Chris has apparently been shopping around for a house in PA, and has been asking advisers whether he should step down from his Hardball post before his contract expires in June.
Then again, all this "speculation" from "operatives" within the Democratic party might just be leaked by Matthews' own team, hoping MSNBC will fight for him to stay and give him a better re-up contract, which he's in the middle of this week. If Chris is trying to use his departure as leverage, he might as well change his name to Plaxico Burress, because he's shooting himself in the foot. CONTINUED »
A vacant New York Sun news box, marked with a huge "E" (for Empty?), and standing in honor of the paper that it once held.
So all y'all read that piece in The New York Times about Cindy McCain and her drug habits and her second wife status in Washington circles and her distant relationship to husband John McCain her support of her husband?
If you didn't know any better, you'd think the NYT was one of those liberal elite media institutions that unfairly paint ugly pictures of candidate's spouses much in the way that the GOP and Fox News tried to portray Michelle Obama as an American-hating fistbumper who has never been proud of her country.
It's almost like…both sides are wrong! Judge for yourself this example of tit-for-tat, after the jump:
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While watching the debates on Thursday, did Tom Brokaw's chummy relationship with John McCain make you a little bit uncomfortable? The two seemed like golfing buddies right? It was weird. But at least Brokaw doesn't have any personal history with the Republican nominee, which is more that can be said for 2004's moderator Bob Schieffer, who will also be doing the duty at the third debate this week. Schieffer has close ties with George W.: his brother co-owned a Major League baseball franchise with the Prez, and was elected Ambassador to Australia by his old buddy.
Though the connection was obvious between Shieffer and Bush, you didn't see Americans getting riled up in the same way they did when, oh say, Gwen Ifill moderated the VP debates, because she was writing a book about Obama's politics. Then it was all cries of "partisanship!" and "biased-media!"
It begs the question: Who gets called out on media partisanship more, the left or right?
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Is it just me, or is Woody Allen's UES home a little bit…WASPy? It looks like the type of place owned by Diane Keaton's family in Annie Hall, instead of the "under the Cyclone" Brooklyn feel of Woody's own childhood. But whatevs, when Architectural Digest gives you a tour of one of New York's most famous iconoclasts, you don't complain.
You just look for all the creepy pedophile stuff. See if you can spot it in this picture:
Did the debates last night make anyone else a little bit uncomfortable? Maybe it was something about the bright lights, that allowed you to see dead-eyed audience, maybe it was Tom Brokaw's whole "you guys settle down before I turn this debate right back around" chastising, maybe it was just the trillion times John McCain said "my friends" and grinned like Skeletor.
So, people are saying Obama won the night, even though John McCain seemed a lot more sure of himself and Obama stammered a lot. Well, wouldn't you if you were faced with this?
Dr. Drew Pinsky never met a social taboo he didn't want to whore out for financial gain and screen time on a Viacom station. Now that Celebrity Rehab: 2 is in the can (w/ crazy Gary Busey as the sober guy, w00t) what voyeuristic oddity will the oddly buffed "doctor" subject viewers to next season?
Welp, you ever thought about taking a sex-ed class with yr mom? Zing, but also for realz:
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Sam Zell is currently in a tug-of-war with his employees over at the LA Times and Tribune. The maligned writers filed a lawsuit against Zell for scamming the company out of millions of dollars, while the gnomely huckster fired back with internal memos about partnership, while calling the lawsuits "frivolous and unnecessary." All per the norm finger-pointing that occurs when businesses fail.
But now the game's stepped up 2 the streets, with the plaintiffs making Zell out to be a monster in a letter to the press that highlights Zell's crappy music taste:
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For five months in 2007, actor Daniel Radcliffe appeared as Alan Strang in the play Equus, a role requiring some full-frontal acting. And for five months, people waited in vain for a skin snap to leak from that British production. The Brits, of course, are far too refined such antics and not even the tabloids went for the Harry Potter star's prick.
Fast forward sixteen months and we find Radcliffe reprising his role here in the United States. And guess what?! One day into the Broadway show's previews and there it is: Daniel Radcliffe's wang for all the world to see. And we use the word "see" very loosely, because the actor's genitals are basically a blur.
