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Advertisers
Come for the Football Stadium, Stay for the Free Laundry Service
A winning combo

Now that advertisers are pinching their wallets and tightening their belts, how can they be expected to still entice consumers without having to buy all that uber-expensive ad time on television (which is determined by the totally inaccurate Nielsen ratings, no less) or rollovers on websites?

Well, there is always the old-fashioned way: forcing products in front of their target audiences faces, in the cold, hard world, without a medium between them. This is why if you enter into the new Indianapolis Colts stadium, you'll see a section of the arena devoted to washing machines from Hhgregg, airplane seats in the food court sponsored by AirTran Airways, and gasoline pumps by Lucas Oil as soon as you walk in. And while corporate sponsorship is not a new thing to sports stadiums per say (anyone willing to buy Shea/Citi Stadium back??), more and more it's a companies biggest influx of new customers.

So everything old is new again, and we're back to the image of a Dystopian free market future, where even the urinal cakes have a Brawndo logo.

But is there a better solution?

CONTINUED »

<i>Quest</i>'s List of 400 Top Society Figures Went 900 People Over
Blame pay-for-play

Not to harp on the "art vs. commerce" idea any more than is absolutely necessary, but here's some more quaint proof that the editorial pages are currently being dictated by the advertising dollars: The annual, and completely baffling, Quest 400 list of the best and brightest (and wealthiest and most influential) contains over 1,300 names this year — because the society magazine managed to include all of its advertisers. If you really desire to find out who's upgrading to a 300-foot yacht this year, see the complete list.

How You're Responsible For All the Crappy Programming on Network TV
Stop having a problem with everything

Even the broadcast networks have realized anything worth watching is on cable. Mad Men, Project Runway (for now), Gossip Girl, even The freakin' Hills. Which is why CBS, home to the oldest viewers watching television, thought it might do something dramatic: Order up a series that belongs on cable, but would be broadcast on the tiffany network. That series is Swingtown, set in the 1970s world of white couples swinging in the suburbs, and from what we've seen so far, it's quite brilliant.

Naturally, advertisers hate it.

CONTINUED »

BET Too Violent and Profane for Advertisers

A content analysis of BET’s programming called “The Rap on Rap” that concluded that viewers of the channel’s popular shows are exposed to violence, profanity or obscenity once every 38 seconds has reportedly inspired Proctor and Gamble, Pepsi and General Motors to pull advertising from Rap City and 106 & Park.

CONTINUED »

This Is Why We Wanted The Strike To Ruin The Oscars
Advertisers Rejoice over their chance to further invade our souls

To us, the Oscars are just one long tease. We prefer seeing who won the next day and judging what everyone wore in Us Weekly. But if you like meaningless awards and famous people in black tie, there’s no bigger evening.

And after the Super Bowl, there’s no bigger night for advertisers. They’re so glad that the writers resolved their issues so they can tell you about their safety features of their hybrid car:

The settlement of the writers’ strike means the show will proceed as usual — stars, red-carpet fashions and all. That alleviated the fears of more than a dozen blue-chip advertisers, worried that their elaborate — and expensive — marketing plans centered on the Oscars would be disrupted.

“We’re very, very happy the show’s back” to normal, said Aldo Papone, vice president for global advertising at the American Express Company in New York, an Oscar sponsor since 1996.

Surely, the writers are also very, very happy that their small web residuals enabled credit card companies to encourage more debt spending in this country.

<em>OK! </em>Knows A Story When They See It
and a pregnant famous teenager is a story

We weren't there, so we can't be sure, but we bet after OK! broke the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy story, an editor said, "'Let's keep the birth of this innocent child, which will be a physical representation of Jamie Lynn and Casey Aldridge's love, as well as a person in its own right, classy. Let's send out announcement to our advertisers."

And that's exactly what they did. Tom Morrisy, the publisher of OK! emailed a blitz to advertisers about their scoop on the new national train wreck.

Full pitch after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Lies Plus Fines Equals Fine Lies
newsday and hoy slapped on the wrist, not bitch slapped

Everyone from Long Island is a liar. Have you ever met someone from that region who tells the truth? No. Stereotypes are always true.

Need proof? Newsday and the Spanish Daily, Hoy, lied about their circulation figures to advertisers between 2001 and 2004. And they were both based in Long Island when the lying went down.

The result: $15 million in fines to settle federal criminal fraud investigations, $83 million in restitution to advertisers and remedial management and internal auditing.

CONTINUED »

Freedom Isn’t Free
What Will Happen When WSJ.com Loses Its Pay Wall

People are only willing to pay for porn and comics online. That’s why Rupert Murdoch, Aussie savant that he is, has hinted at said he would remove the pay wall on WSJ.com.

The move will cost Dow Jones $63 million in subscription revenue. Industry consultants estimate that WSJ.com will have to boost traffic by 130 percent to make up for the loss. Heads up to the marketing department at Lexus: expect a lot of calls from ad reps at WSJ.com who are looking to cover the difference.

CONTINUED »

Media Blitz
The Return Of Unsolved Mysteries Is The Greatest Unsolved Mystery Of Them All

• In desperate post-Sopranos haze, HBO greenlights new episodes of Unsolved Mysteries.

• Is YouTube destined to become the new Friendster and fade into "I Love The 00's" obscurity?

• Advertisers already starting to back away from Portfolio on the basis that it's boring and reads like "Business for Dummies."

• Joe Scarborough and his cronies "jokingly" ripped the producers' Paris Hilton script into pieces, pretended to light it on fire, then stuck it in the paper shredder. It's called journalism, people.

CONTINUED »

Since we didn't walk away with an official VMA giftbag, we're going to have to suffice with this week's advertiser cheques.

• American Apparel
• H&M
• Queens
• Clairol
• Renaissance
• The Humane Society

Did you hear? We didn't get a single lip gloss? Pity us by advertising.

Advertiser Addendum

We've received word that this week's advertiser dollars may have been funneled from Jeffrey Epstein's personal checking account, though our vaginas haven't been touched with a vibrator lately, so we're holding out for more evidence. But thanks anyway, guys!

• Sidekick 3
• Work Out
• Little Miss Sunshine
• All That Rocks
• HBO

Wanna learn how to have fun without minors? Advertise with us.

Advertiser Addendum

Since we don't work for one of Cosmo's ad agencies, we're forced to buy our way into their Media Man of the Year Contest. Thanks to these big spenders for getting us into Kate White's fantasy.

• Sidekick 3
• Verizon
• VH1
• HBO
• Little Miss Sunshine

Perhaps with your ad dollars, we can buy a quarter page in Cosmo next year and qualify.

Advertiser Addendum

Since everyone else seems to be doing it, we're going to start going through Ann Coulter's writings and see not whether we can match selected paragraphs with the writing of others, but to find those sought-after nuggets of original writing. And these people will be funding it:

• Psych on USA
• The Libertine
• Estee Lauder
• Model Student

Next week we're going after Frank Rich – you know, just for fun – so get your contributions in now.

Advertiser Addendum

It's been a rough week around Jossip HQ as we've raced to shield our eyes from the Star Jones fall out. But our real sorrow is seeing Rita Cosby disappear from primetime. Sure, she'll still be around to host specials, but where are we going to get our daily dose of raspy? It's only because of the generous support of these folks that we're to afford the technology to turn Tucker Carlson's hum drum tone into something sexier.

• The Devil Wears Prada
• The Libertine
• Waist Deep
• Jessica Simpson
• Estee Lauder
• Style Feeder

Join the cause by advertising with us.

Advertiser Addendum

Even if you're the most hetero person in all of New York (which is as likely as you not being Jewish), you're about to have a really, really gay weekend. Even if you won't be dancing on the pier with trannies and drag queens, just try crossing Fifth Avenue. Thanks to this week's advertisers, we'll be holed up in squalor with a bottle of Ketel One.

• Estee Lauder
• Only Human
• Waist Deep
• HBO
• The Showbuzz

Help us fund our bereft anti-gay campaign by advertising with us.

Advertiser Addendum

Thanks to this week's advertisers, who kept us decked out in duds that we almost felt mildly attractive next to Anderson Cooper at Jim Kelly's soiree.

• Charmed
• HP
• CNN
• DreamWorks
• Dead Man's Shoes

Want to keep our body image complex in gear? Then advertise with us.

And on a completely "this is not an advertiser-editorial crossover" note, we invite you to check out CNN's Chasing Angelina: Paparazzi & Celebrity Obsession — not because the cable network is paying us a boatload to promote it, but because we're in it. At least, we suspect we are (we didn't clear an afternoon and haul a camera crew into Michael's for nothing). It airs this Saturday and Sunday at 8pm and 11pm.

Advertiser Addendum

Since even Mark Cuban can't get into Bungalow 8 by waving around his billions (okay, just $1,000 of his billions), this week's advertiser checks probably won't do much to get us into Manor. But hell, we gotta try, right? Gracias to the following.

• Charmed
• Speedo
• Jewel
• Sapa

Help us continue our nightlife infiltrations and advertise with us, damnit.

Advertiser Addendum

You'd think with half the town stamped with American Express logos, courtesy the Tribeca Film Festival, the credit card company were giving something away. Like free cash, for instance. It turns out they're not, which means our PlAmEx actually had to pay for stuff this week. Not film tickets of course (and not because we're credentiailed, but because of our uncanny knack to schmooze the publicity girls with the clipboards). Thanks to this week's advertisers for picking up the tab.

• One Tree Hill
• Speedo
• Altoids
• The Biggest Loser
• Sapa

And also be sure to take a peak at promotional partner AskMen.com's breakdown of the Denise Richards-Heather Locklear-Charlie Sheen feud.

Advertiser Addendum: Adopt A Sixer

Hearing four stringers at Page Six got the axe makes us sad. So we're starting a new charity: Adopt A Sixer, wherein you make sure that even without the Page Six badge, they still get to eat, drink, and party on someone else's dime all weekend. We're taking Fernando Gil under our wing, which leaves three more in need of gossip stringer love.

• Speedo
• Altoids
• USA Network's Show Us Your Character
• Cingular & One Tree Hill
• Magnolia Pictures' Somersault

Help us make sure these pure souls never have to pay for a Ketel One martini ever again by advertising with us.

Advertiser Addendum: There Should Be A Spring Festivus

As you might have noticed, it's Eastover weekend, which means we'll be dragging ourselves to Connecticut to drown our guilt in Manischewitz. Thanks to this week's advertisers who make the pain bareable.

• Altoids
• Speedo
• Somersault / Magnolia Pictures
• Show Us Your Character / USA Network
• MSNBC.com

Help merge church and checkbook by advertising with us.

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