Normally, we'd be spending this week's advertising checks on generating favorable coverage of Jossip on BuzzMachine. But after the fallout from Jared Paul Stern, we're opting to donate our revenue to charity. The Make Sure Jossip's Staff Gets Paid Fund, in fact. You can thank these folks for allowing that:

• USA's Show Us Your Character
• Speedo
• Choose Your Own Adventure
• Brick
• MSNBC.com

If you're looking to help us meet extortion demands, advertise with us.

Thanks to this week's advertisers, we can afford to make a sizeable contribution to the Save Naomi fund. Because at the end of the day, where would we be without assistant-abusing supermodels with sizeable coke problems? New Jersey, that's where.

• Choose Your Own Adventure
• Speedo
• Show Us Your Character
• So NoTORIous
• Brick

Help us defend our right to self-aggrandizing human stilts by advertising with us.

Our ongoing efforts include more than service journalism and embarassing the public relations industry. They also include collecting information about your person to dump into a vast databank that will help us gleen more money from advertisers. What's in it for you? Another excuse to exercise your reason for visiting Jossip: an enormous time suck.

So help us pad our coffers by answering some questions posed by Blogads – one of our handy advertising firms – customized precisely for you, the gossip maven. Just visit SurveyMonkey's questionnaire, click a few radio buttons, and presto — more on-the-clock time down the crapper.

Blogads Survey [SurveyMonkey]

Thanks to this week's advertisers, we can afford to replace the glass that Time's Jim Kelly's "grandmother left him," which shattered on the floor when a couple blogger types got too excited over an Anderson Cooper sighting.

• The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things
• Ghost Whisperer
• Laser Cosmetica
• The Power Is In You

Join our Jim Kelly fund and advertise with us.

We've got some changes coming at Jossip HQ. And anytime our pink (or, ahem, orange) needs a new coat, it costs money. Thanks to this week's advertisers for ensuring a smooth transition.

• Sons & Daughters on ABC
• Laser Cosmetica
• Dave Chappelle's Block Party
• Monty Python's Personal Best

Get in on the action by advertising with us.

For two weeks we've tested our gag reflex by relaying The Joys Of Much Too Much, as told by Bonnie Fuller. Do you know how much couch time this is going to require for our staff and interns? Luckily we've got these fine folks to pick up the tab.

• Laser Cosmetica
• Footballers Wive$
• Dave Chappelle's Block Party
• Monty Python's Personal best
• The New School

Help rid the stench of holding down a career and a family by advertising with us.

So what if Bravo didn't have enough seats for us at this morning's Project Runway show? Us, get angry? Certainly not! We're just going to drown our sorrows in J. McLaughlin apparel so at least David Patrick Columbia will give us the approval we're so desperately seeking, courtesy this week's advertisers:

• Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World
• General Mills
• TBS
• Cake on Lifetime

Want to get in on the passive-aggressive weep fest? Advertise with us.

Have you heard? It's Fashion Week! Know what that means? Lots of party crashing! And you know what that means? Lots of paying off security for access. So thanks to this week's advertisers, who ensure we'll get all the Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler, Vera Wang, and Alice Ritter we could ask for.

• Something New movie
• Lisa Loeb
• Big Love on HBO
• TBS
• Antiques Roadshow on PBS
• Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World movie
• Neighborhoodies
• Sapa

Want to get in on Jossip's official Fashion Week Without Access? Advertise with us.

This week's advertising dollars are going toward new blinders that Jossip staffers will be wearing while watching MSNBC so we can block out those new technicolor graphics and chirons they've got running everywhere.

• Something New
• Looking For Comedy in the Muslim World
• TBS
• The New School
• Neighborhoodies
• Pherotones

Want to help us keep our vision insurance costs down (not that we have health insurance 'round here)? Then advertise with us.

And also, don't forget that our friends at Focus Features would like to invite you to a sneak preview of Something New. A special screening is going down tonight in select U.S. cities, so be sure to register for your chance at a ticket.

This week's advertisers are funding a weekend we're calling "Excuses Not To Mention James Frey." It's not going to be like any other weekend, really, since we don't talk about work with friends.

• Something New movie
• Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World
• Neighborhoodies
• Pherotones

Want to join us in our no-Oprah-on-the-weekends crusade? Advertise with us.

And also, don't forget that our friends at Focus Features would like to invite you to a sneak preview of Something New. The screening is tonight, so get your butt on over to their registration page! (Go here for more info.)

Special thanks to this week's advertisers, whose checks may just go toward paying our legal bills to keep Colin Farrell's attorneys at bay. Or at least pay the dude we've got on retainer who may or may not have passed the bar exam.

· Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World
· Benjamin Stove
· Neighborhoodies

We're also going to use this opportunity to ask for the $.35 that it cost to print out Colin Farrell's cease and desist letter. Want to add a few pennies to our coffers? Advertise with us.

It never really occurred to us that bringing on new help in the form of editor Corynne Steindler, we might actually have to, like, pay her. Shitty, we agree. But alas, this week's advertisers are actually sending us checks. Which means we can send Corynne a check. She just can't cash it for a couple weeks. You know how ornery banks get with bounced checks.

• Ford Fusion
• Neighborhoodies
• TBS
• MSNBC
• Adult Swim
• Bamzu

Help keep Corynne earning a salary by advertising with us.

With all this hubbub over holiday parties, we're almost inclined to throw our own. But that might involve making phone calls and, perhaps, the involvement of a publicist — and who has the time or the energy? Instead we're just going to use this week's advertiser checks to open up a tab at an unnamed LES hole in the wall (because aren't they all the rage?) and let the interns go wild.

• Ford Fusion
• TBS
• Cartoon Network
• Neighborhoodies
• Bamzu
• Serenity Health
• Star Strings

Help keep our unpaid help feeling jolly through the holidays (and then help pay for their stomach pumping) by advertising with us.

Have you noticed .. it's getting cold outside? Without pissing off PETA, there's only one way to stay warm this holiday season: Christmas-themed orgies. Special thanks to this week's advertisers, who are paying our body warmth admission fees.

• Ford Fusion
• TBS
• Neighborhoodies
• Serenity Health
• Bamzu

Get in on the goodness by advertising with us.

If Jossip were a fraternity, we'd definitely share our secret handshake with our advertisers. But Jossip is not a fraternity. And, while that doesn't keep us from actually having a secret handshake, we'd rather share our gratitude with our advertisers anyhow. So thanks and stuff!

• Serenity Health
• Ford Fusion
• Neighborhoodies
• RU-21
• Daisy Does America

Now if you want to advertise with us, we promise we'll share our secret handshake. Maybe.

Special thanks to this week's advertisers, whose donated dinero definitely aren't going toward bidding on lunch with Rupert Murdoch.

• Serenity Health
• Ford Fusion
• Neighborhoodies
• Eurythmics
• Boondocks
• White Trash Palace

Help keep our pockets loaded with cash instead of any charity's by advertising with us.

Happy trails to this week's advertisers, without which we would have never been able to afford to pay God for a 70-degree weekend.

• Serenity Health
• Eurythmics
• Boondocks
• Neighborhoodies

Help us help you stave winter off by advertising with us.

Thanks so much to this week's advertisers, who ensure we'll be able to pay an intern overtime (read: one additional half-caf latte) to set our clocks back on time over the weekend.

• O2Optix
• Eurythmics
• Up Your Budget Treasure Hunt
• Neighborhoodies

Help make sure we wake up in time on Sunday to apply our Halloween costume's body paint by advertising with us.

This week's advertisers are paying for Kevlar vests for all of Jossip's staff and interns, because we want to make sure we can ride the subway and at least attempt to survive a bomb blast.

Okay, you got us: The interns aren't getting them.

• Radar
• Diary Of A Married Call Girl
• Stingway.com
• Spreadshirt
• Neighborhoodies

Help make sure we include the free help in our next budget — advertise with us and help fight terror. Ish.

Thank ya to this week's advertisers, who keep our tipsters' playroll in the double digits. Without them, well, we'd have to steal from Page Six more often.

• Ali G
• White Trash Palace
• Radar
• Neighborhoodies

Want to help boost the sum to low three figures? Just advertise with us and you'll be on your way.