• Somehow, an awards show – the American Music Awards, no less – became a ratings winner.

• Tyler Brûlé finds an editor for Monocle: Andrew Tuck. Whose name may also be made up.

• Green isn't the color of envy, but the color of death.

• James K. Glassman relaunches the American Enterprise Institute journal as the glossy The American, a new business bimonthly that will ignore the Internet.

• The FCC used Thanksgiving to make a shadowy announcement about studying media ownership rules? The audacity.

• It wouldn't be the holiday season without A Christmas Story and Cingular.

• All My Children grows tired of just going gay — and goes transgender.

• ABC puts The Nine on permanent hiatus, which is where Dancing With The Stars should be if you asked us.

• Heather Mills McCartney would rather be a double amputee than be married to Paul again.

• So, uh, the American Music Awards took place last night. And all they'll be remembered for is the Kevin Federline-in-a-crate-thrown-in-the-ocean skit. (View photos from the AMAs at MollyGood.)

• Does Britney Spears even have $29 million to throw into buying a home? And does she even know where Florida is?

• Wait, so publicists lie to gossip columns now? What the fuck.

• Let the countdown begin for when the O.J. Simpson-Judith Regan interview hits YouTube. Then how many minutes will it be before News Corp. demand it taken down?

• Remembering Robert Altman, and every. boldface. name. he. ever. came. in. contact. with.