Ron Burkle, BFF of Hill and Bill, is set to acquire AMI, which owns Shape, Star, the National Enquirer and Men's Fitness. GQ’s advice to the editors there: stay out of the Clintons' way. [WWD]

• It's not quite up to the caliber of Kidz Bop, but FEMA has rap lyrics just for the youngin's. Next up: A Mike Brown goodbye lullaby.

• Amtrak's monthly commuter fares could hike as much as 50 percent, which will certainly help increase revenue. Right?

• You mean newspapers don't want to comply with FEMA's request not to photograph Katrina's dead?

• Sony isn't letting Apple snag all the press over the release of its iPod nano. The Japanese electronics maker is trying to play up its revamped Walkman to grab some market share, or at least a headline.

• It hurts us – truly, it does – to see Kimberly Stewart do a better Paris Hilton than Paris herself.

Freight train derailment in the Bronx suspends service between New York and Connecticut

Leaving Bridge & Tunnels trapped – trapped! – in our borders.

Surely you don't need another reason to get the hell out of Penn Station at any given moment, but thanks to a real winner who tossed a backpack at an Amtrak agent and said it was a bomb, every commuter going to and fro Sunday morning had the pleasure of getting kicked out in an all-out evacuation.

Service returned to normal by 1:25pm, as suspect Raul Claudio's false alarm didn't put anyone in actual danger.

The incident was over as quickly as it began. One minute, camouflage-clad soldiers were shouting, "Penn Station is closed indefinitely," and the next minute they got the all clear and started letting people into the station.

Which still puts to shame Amtrak's "on time" schedule.