• Oh, so you heard Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married? So we don't have to talk about it? Even the part where Andrea Bocelli snubbed the Scientology couple? Unless their flight to the Maldives goes down in flames? Great!

• Michael "Kramer" Richards pulls a Mel Gibson, launches into racist rant on stage, might not receive free drinks at the Laugh Factory any more.

• Lindsay Lohan accidently stores coke razor in wrists.

• While Britney Spears parties in Las Vegas, Kevin Federline wears a burlap sack in Miami.

• Lindsay Lohan signs with Miu Miu after LV defeat.

• Rod and Kim Stewart argue over who's more irresponsible.

• Living above the city in the Time Warner Center proves too trying for 21-year-old Anna Anisimova.

• Jessica Simpson and John Mayer remain just friends. Who cuddle.

• An Olsen twin's teeth surface for a brief moment.

• While Daniel Craig may have nearly locked in the James Bond spot, it's not definite. What is definite? That he's making Sienna Miller scream louder than Jude Law ever could. [R&M]

• So much for Anna Anisimova's dreams of becoming a better looking Donald Trump. Her plans to trash Diane von Furstenberg's former West 12th Street HQ (for which she paid $23 million) to build a 150-foot condo complex got the kabash when the city council sided with the Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation, capping building heights at 100 feet. Though there's always a Hamptons summer to make headlines again. [Page Six]

• Katie Holmes' dad Martin is about as pleased with her as Brooke Shields is with Tom Cruise, sounding off on his daughter and movie star fiance about their shotgun wedding. Meanwhile, the duo's uber-handler Lee Ann DeVette is asking parishioners at Katie's families Christ the King Church not to speak to reporters. [The Scoop]

• Rush Limbaugh feels left out of yesterday's Top 10 Ubersexuals list, which explains his running his mouth over Bono landing the No. 1 slot despite Rush's claims of the U2 frontman having a mistress. [Page Six]

• Donny Deutsch finally admits what we've known all along. It's an "ego trip" to do his low rated CNBC show The Big Idea, and he wrote his latest book because "seeing your name on a book is really a big f - - - - - - deal." [Cindy Adams]

• Apprentice wanna-be Raj Bhakta is venturing into politics. The bow tie wearing, babe chasing former contestant is considering running for Congress in the 13 th District in Fort Washington. Even if The Donald won't endorse him, maybe he can meet some cute campaign workers to hit on. Or at least a receptionist. [R&M]

We haven't heard much from last summer's Hamptons princess Anna Anisimova lately, but that doesn't mean the former Denise Rich estate inhabitant isn't making waves while Paris Hilton abandoned the East End for European shores.

It was Anna's chance to establish herself as a Hamptons icon these past few months, not just a summertime one-off. It might be too late already, since she's only got till Labor Day to impress the gossips, and so far we haven't heard much since her season kick-off. Interesting, because she suffered the same fate last year, waiting until the last minute to throw a press-worthy bash.

But c'mon folks, she's trying. Really. Hard.

Just look: She hosted the Annual Young Friends of the Mental Illness Prevention Center at her Hamptons pad, where,

From the second guest left their cars, they were transported to paradise as Hula dancers greeted guest with a warm Aloha and adorned them with Laies around their neck.

The storytelling continues, with bonus B-list socliaites, after the jump.

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