• Thank the media for blowing up Borat. [Post I.T.]

• Outdoor advertising firms are lining up to sue the city over unfair restrictions on where they can place semi-nude Calvin Klein models. [AdAge]

• The only time Frank Rich got flack for his stance on the Iraq war on his book tour, he was in Manhattan. [Radar]

• Sometimes a reporter looking for sources is just a reporter looking for sources. [DI]

• Kate Moss' drug habit is blowing up Colombian children. Or something like that. [Queerty]

• Even if Steve Wynn couldn't unload that Picaso, a new record artwork sale goes down, courtesy David Geffen. LAT acquisitions war chest grows deeper. [NYT]

• NBC's turmoil has the vultures circling. [TVNewser]

• Starbucks ain't the only shop adept at pushing products outside its core offerings. [NYT]

(Image: Curbed)

• A Cosmopolitan cover photographer gets a MoMa exhibition his honor. True talent is never appreciated until the artist is dead. [NYT]

• Nicole Richie has a real MySpace blog, uses that blog to tell people she is not anorexic. Photos of her looking skeletal are just a bonus. [Us]

• Jessica Simpson is really depressed. Probably because her hairdressing is running around telling people she shit her pants. [Page Six]

• Despite the fact that Martin Scorsese axed Jack Nicholson's strap-on suggestion, the appendage still makes a surprising appearance in the movie. Nicholson also will not be starting a dildo line. Sorry. [Lowdown]

• Fortune magazine snags a few New York Times staffers. Adam Moss just called BusinessWeek to give them another suggestion. [WWD, NYO]

• Nothing makes you says "hardcore New Yorker" like random culture-y stuff on the Gowanus Canal. (Tues. 9/5) [Brooklyn Record]

• OMG! The cast of Oz! Put down whatever you're currently doing and just run. [Free NYC]

• What? Anderson Cooper at the 92nd St. Y? That, like, never happens. (Thur. 9/7) [NYM]

• In case you don't work in media and are the only one who hasn't seen the premiere of Sherrybaby, you should go. After all, Maggie Gyllenhaal has a family to support now. (Fri. 9/8) [Flavorpill]

• Dada at the Moma? There has to be some child psych issues in there somewhere. And this week is your last chance to take advantage of them. (Through 9/11) [Paper]

We've always wondered where Lindsay Lohan's extraordinary talent comes from. God knows her mother hasn't taught her a thing except that she should look for validation through men, drugs, and fame. But under the dilapidated exterior, Lindsay is kind of good at acting. (We just loooove Mean Girls.) How did this happen?

Well, just take a gander at the skillz of her imprisoned father, Michael Lohan.

Pretty good drawing, right? We especially like the Jared Paul Stern lookin' paparazzo crouching in the corner. Though, we would have liked to see some flames and smoke coming out from between Lindsay's legs. God also said, "let there be Firecrotch."

From the pen of Lindsay's dad [Lloyd Grove, Lowdown]
Earlier: Lindsay Lohan's Dad Has His Own Special Way of Seeing Her Fircrotch

Photo Courtesy of Gothamist's Jake Dobkin via Flickr

• They're gonna' start teasing us with this morning after pill stuff again, aren't they? Just remember: Plan-B does not protect against HPV. [Newsday]

• Whole Foods is finally following the yuppies to DUMBO. [Curbed]

• Campbell Robertson explains the Neilsen ratings of theater — which we think will lead to more movie stars on Broadway. So, inevitably, Paris Hilton will someday play Ophelia in Hamlet. [NYT]

• Ooooh. Art captures art and Gothamist makes a pretty. [Flickr]

• We know — it's really, really, really hot. But you may want to find an alternative to swimming at Coney Island. [NYP]

What, Peter Braunstein posts not terrifying enough for ya? Well, maybe this lovely image will do the trick.

What's that you say? Ahhhhhhh! Dear God What The Fuck Is That? Our words exactly. Well, it's a statue depicting the "presidential bust of Hillary Clinton." Of course it is.

A presidential bust of Hillary Clinton is set to be unveiled at the Museum of Sex on August 9, 2006 at 10 am. Accentuating her sexual power and bolstered by the presidential seal, The Presidential Bust of Hillary Rodham Clinton: The First Woman President of the United States of America will be officially open for public viewing on August 9 for a limited six week run.

Obviously, this wonderful piece of art which depicts the Senator's face as "matured by wisdom" (we were thinking "leathered") is by Daniel Edwards. The same guy who brought us Britney Spears pushing a baby out of her cooch while on her hands and knees. At least that was the miracle of life, though — this is just the miracle of getting 1,000 people to simultaneously vomit on themselves.

Museum Of Sex To Unveil Hillary Clinton's Presidential 'Bust' [Fishbowl, NY]

As if the party Doug Dechert threw for himself and his front page New York Press article wasn't embarrassing enough, try this one on for size. Dechert got axed from his NYP column after one (that's right one) issue.

A recently unconfirmed report from the Gawks has Dechert crashing Richard Johnson's wedding, which happened to be the topic of his first column, and the cover story of last week's Press.

We had found the item at the very least amusing, but it later came to light that Dechert had crashed the wedding (makes sense, as no one in their right mind would want him there), whereas the column read as if he were an invited guest. That might piss off an editor or two.

And to think just last summer, Dechert was on top of the world, "curating" the boss' son's art show. (Because "art curator" is the chosen second job of hack gossip columnists?) Full Damon Johnson (c/o Doug Dechert) invite after the jump.

CONTINUED »

It was just last month that Britney Spears' birthing sculpture made waves on .. Britney Spears message boards. Now there's another artful incarnation of a celebrity in need. Artist Marc Quinn brings us Kate Moss doing yoga, "cast in bronze and then painted white, creating a flat, blank surface." He describes Kate as "a contemporary version of the Sphinx. A mystery." How she snuffs that much blow and still holds on to Lila Grace is, indeed, a mystery.

Kate Gets Knotted [WOW]

An art history book, well-known among the nation's scholarly types, is being majorly revised for the first time since its original publication in 1962. Janson's History of Art was written by Horst Woldemar Janson while he was working at New York University, and has become the baby boomer professors guide to the history of art.

In the modernized version, however, some changes have caused controversy among the art nerds. While the re-write incorporates more women and tackles issues of race and gender, there is major concern over the elimination of the esteemed portrait "Whistler's Mother."

This is especially discouraging for a professor at the University of New Mexico, who worries that his students buried in the dusty desert may not be culturally adept enough to eventually be let loose into the big city.

"What if there's a cartoon in The New Yorker that uses it as a reference? Younger students aren't going to know what it's talking about."

We could not imagine anything worse than not being able to comprehend a New Yorker cartoon. You know, they make you move out of the city if they catch you being such a total dumbass.

Revising Art History's Big Book: Who's In and Who Comes Out? [Randy Kennedy, New York Times]

• Bonnie Fuller's advice on on how to rule the world — from one Canadian gossip to another. [Fishbowl NY]

• Kate Moss wants the courts not to use their evidence as evidence. We think she's gonna have to do a little more than jump around with her shirt off for that to happen. [Daily Snack]

• Why don't people love Osama Jesus? Seemed like a total non-controversial New York art thing to us. [CBS]

• Fader staffers are the only ones who listened to Kevin Federline's album. [The Fader]

• Simon Cowell takes his show on the road to Las Vegas. [ABC]

• Dave Chappelle explains that he's not crazy. Just really, really paranoid. Hmm, wonder how that side effect set in? [People]