At right is an easy-to-read graph that shows the year-over-year change in newsstand sales for a half dozen celebrity tabloids. (Where, oh where, is Hip Hop Weekly?!) What you'll notice, in addition to OK!'s nearly 20 percent jump forward, is the decline of Englewood Cliffs-based Bauer's In Touch and Life & Style, which look to the newsstand for an enormous 90 percent of total sales (versus home subscriptions, for instance). It also explains why Bauer is being forced to lower its advertiser rate base, reports WSJ. Having missed its 1 million copy promise more than half of the year, according to ABC data, the new rate base will be 800,000; Life & Style missed its 550,000 rate base two out of every three issues, and will lower its guarantee to 400,000. Supposedly, the lowered forecasts are evidence that even with the doom-and-gloom economy, Americans are not turning to escapist fare like tabloids. More accurately, however, we would surmise circulation numbers across the weeklies are so over inflated, this is just some correction setting. Or maybe it's just a result of shitty (now fired) marketers?

We're hearing five staffers were just fired today from Life & Style, the Bauer tabloid that isn't In Touch. Two designers and three from the fashion department were let go, as ordered by owner Hubert Boehle. It's just the normal course of publishing, says an insider, and not reason to assume the sky is falling (i.e. that L&S is shutting down, as some have assumed). Interestingly, since Dan Wakeford took over as editor a few weeks ago, newsstand sales have improved from Donna Armstrong's 350,000 average to 550,000.

While standing in the unemployment line has been the fate of most magazine worker drones these days, it's nice to hear a success story once in awhile. Except, of course, when the success is come by in the most egregious, unwarranted way possible.

FHM is a Bauer-owned mag, sort of the British answer to Maxim, a direct relative of the original "lad's mag" Loaded. In 2007 FHM (which stands for For Him Magazine) became online only, and most of the editorial staff was nixed.

Except, according to a little birdie, for a former FHM office assistant who was hired to be their U.S. Editor, and now is living the sweet life with a sweet salary and paid-for apartment (since he works from home, get it?).

Which is fine: everyone needs editors, and god bless Bauer for treating their employees right and hiring from within their own ranks.

Except, once you skim a couple of these editor's writing samples, those cheers quickly turn into baffled moans of frustration over broheim here landing such a sweet gig with no writing skills to speak of.

CONTINUED »

Life & Style, often described to us as the black sheep of the tabloid industry, has suffered a tumultuous history. Since Bauer head Hubert Boehle launched it in 2004, it's seen a sea change of editors-in-chief. Most recently, Australia's Donna Armstrong was shown the door — for "maternity leave" — after being hired only in July. Before she, In Touch editor Richard Spencer had been manning the magazine with the help of his two deputies, Dan Wakeford and Michelle Lee. That's because Mark Pasetsky was removed from the post (he's since taken to bashing his former employer) after Debra Birnbaum, now the editor of TV Guide, exited in another regime change. So, where do we stand now? With In Touch exec editor Dan Wakeford taking over L&S's top spot, making him the sixth editor in three years. Which means the job could either be a blessing (who doesn't want to run their own magazine?) or a curse (don't L&S editors last at Bauer no more than, like, four months?).

We're hearing big news out of Bauer today: The New Jersey tabloid publisher is moving Richard Spencer to the position of editorial director of Life & Style, though he'll remain editor-in-chief of In Touch. Filling in, then, for Spencer's open EIC slot at L&S, which he took over when Mark Pasetsky vacated the position, is Donna Armstrong, who was running Australia's New Woman magazine after leaving Britain's More, both published by Emap. Dan Wakeford and Michelle Lee, who were the deputies at both tabloids, will stop splitting their duties and move back to In Touch.

DAMAGE/AD PAGE CONTROL Life & Style moved quickly to replace publisher Neil Goldstein, who left the magazine in the middle of a rate base cut and those silly rumors about a FBI investigation. Us Weekly ad director Maria Padova takes over Feb. 25.

As the drama of the FBI investigation into Bauer's photo department grows, so, too, do the specifics of its scope.

Original reports of a probe into In Touch suggested the feds were interested in a payola scheme involving a LA editor getting a cut from a paparazzi agency for each of its photos he helped land on the cover. Except as our sources explained, the West Coast office has no role in choosing covers; that all happens with Richard Spencer's team in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey.

So what is the FBI really interested in?

CONTINUED »

BUH-BYE BAUER Perhaps the exit of Life & Style publisher Neil Goldstein to associate publisher at Maxim, following the magazine's rate base cuts, will throw some attention of the alleged FBI investigation at Bauer Publishing? Though, perhaps not.

As if the rate base headaches at Bauer couldn't get worse, word arrives that the New Jersey tabloid outpost has its phone taps by the feds as part of a payola investigation.

The FBI is said to be investigating claims that editors, or one in particular, are being paid by photo agencies to choose their pics to appear on the cover. (Sometimes it works in different ways.)

Cold hard cash dumped into their pockets, in exchange for editorial play, won't exactly sound alarms in the industry (c'mon), or in a courtroom. But if said editor doesn't put that income down on his tax return? Eek! And that's the claim being intimated.

Former In Touch staffers in Los Angeles are being called in by federal agents for questioning. But one source inside the company claims to have zero knowledge of the investigation, or even the allegations. "It's bullshit."

Some folks are pointing fingers at Martin Gould, the former West Coast news director who departed for a better payday at Star. But others counter it couldn't be Gould, or anyone based on the West Coast, since the LA bureau doesn't choose cover photos. That's left to Richard Spencer's team on the East Coast.

UPDATE: Bauer just issued this statement to us: "This whole story sounds ludicrous. Our West Coast bureau do not assign photo agencies - this goes through our photo desk. In Touch has not been contacted by the FBI."

After newsstand owners pressured Bauer to raise the cover prices of In Touch and Life & Style – which, based on the terms these checkout aisle pocket owners have with publishers, means they'll see a larger share of each sale – the tabloids faced backlash from readers in the form of fewer sales. Which means Richard Spencer's two tabloids are forced to cut their rate bases.

In Touch, though its total circ was 1,271,354 in the second half of 2007, hit its 1.2 million rate base, but is lowering its number guaranteed to advertisers to 1 million, down 17 percent.

Life & Style, which had circ of 681,723, missed its 700,000 rate base. It, too, is lowering its guarantee, down to 550,000, or 21 percent.

To be fair, the celeb weekly category, overall, has been slipping, thanks to heavy saturation and those damn gossip blogs. And Bauer has repeatedly inched up the rate bases of both tabloids since they launched; in many instances, In Touch beat veteran heavyweight competitors at the newsstand.

Us Weekly's circ, meanwhile, is up 2.7 percent to 1,005,081; total paid circ is up 10 percent to 1,928,852. OK! is up 24 percent, to 935,378. People will report a fall of 3.5 percent, to 3.7 million, while newsstand dropped 6 percent to 1.42 million. Star is expected to show a 3 or 4 percent dip in newsstand sales, to 713,000.

Meanwhile, even with the rate base cut, Bauer insists its now making more money, with the cover price hikes, than before. So they shouldn't be able to blame budget cuts, then, when explaining why this week's cover of Life & Style (above right) features Bragenlina's baby Shiloh in a blue sweater … that's actually an old photo of her, which appeared on Life & Style last month (above left), but flipped and color-swapped.

Star's second favorite hobby – if calling Britney Spears a psycho is No. 1 – continues this month: raiding other tabloids for star reporters.

In this edition, we're hearing Candace Trunzo's camp just scored Kate Major, the In Touch trooper who's so enveloped in Lindsay Lohan's world that even OK! magazine couldn't resist a bite.

By one source's calculations, Kate is the sixth Bauer journo in seven months to decamp for the better pay scale at AMI, following West Coast reporter Tim Plant, New York's Aaron Rasmussen, Casey Brennan, and Cristina Everett, and In Touch's West Coast chief Martin Gould, who returned to Star as the No. 2 in October.

One source claims Kate told her Bauer bosses (including West Coast's David Thompson) on Friday of her decision to transplant to the East Coast, and turned down incentives to stay.

So if we've worked out the math correctly, it appears AMI chief David Pecker has the money to pay upper salaries for top reporters, editorial directors who do little to nothing, and late fees for missing SEC filing deadlines. It's like Michael Jackson is offering them financial advice.

Just how much did Bauer love Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie this year? SO MUCH!

Exactly how much? Well, consider that their tabloids Life & Style and In Touch put them on the cover a whopping 86.53 and 78.85 percent of the time, respectively. If math ain't your thing, that's 45 out of 52 weeks for L&S, and 41 times for In Touch.

Don't believe us? The full run-down, hand delivered to us, of every Brangelina cover for 2007 is yours, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Mark Coleman is gone from Life & Style, according to an insider. No official word why just yet, but we're told two versions of the deputy editor's departure abound: 1) He voluntarily chose to leave and told bosses yesterday, and was asked to leave this afternoon; and 2) He was actually fired, for faulty sources and "lies."

Update: Multiple sources tell a different story. Sadly for gossipmongers, there seems like nothing nefarious here. Coleman has long been weighing a move back to the U.K. to be with his family, and he's already set up a job with the Daily Mail's dot-com, running their Showbiz section. He told brass last Monday about his plans, and they asked him to stay on till yesterday to close the issue. They sent him off with champagne and cake. He leaves the magazine with last week's "Where's Shiloh?" price-hiked issue selling 700,000 copies.

GOSSIP IS EXPENSIVE Since Bauer increased by $1 the cover price of In Touch and Life & Style to $2.99 two weeks ago, newsstand sales have slipped by 25 and 10 percent, respectively. But two weeks is a short time to judge, some might argue. And so is the season: Autumn is bad for tabloids. And also: "According to an industry rule of thumb, a title can expect a percentage decline in newsstand sales equal to half the cover price’s percentage increase, however." Errrrrgh, math hurts. [MW]

Is Richard Spencer's double duty at In Touch and Life & Style costing the two Bauer tabloids their singular identities? Critics are quick to say "absolutely." Naturally!

Not only are both magazines running very similar content and storylines, but there are also instances of the weeklies having their cake and inhaling it too, by supporting a celeb in one rag and trashing him in the other.

"They're definitely trying to have it both ways," says one veteran staffer at a competing tabloid. And when they run "what's basically the same story in both magazines, they look cheap."

Well, they are only $1.99.

CONTINUED »

This is Jossip publisher David Hauslaib getting bleary-eyed with Post media scribe Keith Kelly. (Yes, that is one thumb way up.)

Keith had just returned from the bar with a Ketel One and soda for David, and a proper beer for himself. You see, when Keith arrived at In Touch's fifth anniversary party, he had been handed some sort of raspberry-and-pommegranite beer concoction. He did not like it. We're sure of that.

What we're unsure of it whether he enjoyed Kanye West's performance, because we were too busy noting how many feet apart a Post columnist and a New York Daily News columnist (in this case, Ben Widdicombe) should keep between them.

Eyeballing it, we guessed at least six or seven.

CONTINUED »

Tomorrow night In Touch is throwing a bash at Tenjune, which is being billed as their fifth anniversary party, but, let's be honest here: It's more a celebration of EIC Richard Spencer taking over Bauer's sister tabloid. Or at least that's how we'll be treating it. The Bloc Group wrangled a performance out of Kanye West, while industry friends Paul Sevigny and DJ Cassidy take care of the decks.

We're a wee bit curious, meanwhile as to what their guest list is looking like, given tabloids' mixed results at securing celebs. Us Weekly, for all its newsstand clout, has trouble stocking a suite with talent but snags some decent guests at its Hot Hollywood event. For what it's worth, we've been promised "a bunch A-list stars."

Meanwhile, the Bauer weekly is facing off against Conde Nast Traveler's own anniversary party; they're celebrating 20 years in the biz, with LL Cool J and Debra Messing confirming for the Cooper-Hewitt Museum event.

For obvious reasons – say, the magazines' different, um, appeals – we imagine RSVP conflicts will be kept to a minimum.

Nobody at Bauer has any idea where those rumors about Life & Style shutting down entirely came from. But the Bauer dust has settled, leaving In Touch EIC Richard Spencer in charge of both celeb weeklies.

There's no plan to fire anyone at L&S, says a source there. That doesn't mean the climate won't change by next week, of course, but we're told both magazines will maintain separate news reporting staffs. Spencer has met with senior level L&S staffers already and, from what we understand, everyone is well-liked. At least enough to keep the friendly game of smiles going on in Englewood Cliffs. Staffers at L&S tell us they're "thrilled" and "so happy" to have new leadership.

Not making that list of well-liked, of course, is Mark Pasetsky, the now-former L&S chief who took the reigns in November to, um, our chagrin and delight. He was a "nightmare manager," says one knowledgeable source, "demanding to get stories that didn't exist." Well, yeah.

CONTINUED »

It was only a matter of time before more Life & Style exits came to fruition so we could announce them!

In this edition, we hear executive editor Joe Bargmann was fired, while senior editor Kathleen Perricone has ditched for Star magazine, continuing the trend we have yet to make any sense of.

Guess who's up to her old tricks? Straight off a week of losing sales numbers, Janice Min is back in Us Weekly with perennial favorite feature "Fake News." She's squared her attention entirely at Bauer's In Touch and Life & Style and their supposedly harsh coverage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, which those magazines have "broken up the pair 14 times in the past 2 years."

Perhaps this is the best way Janice can differentiate herself from, oh, say, Life & Style — who ran the same Britney-kids-cry-for-help cover this week.