Being bloggers, we often use inclement weather as an opportunity to cower under our bedsheets and scour the web for things other people are writing about subjects we're either too lazy (or else too uninterested) to write about ourselves.

Case in point, this excerpt from The Phoenix, which speaks derisively about the whole "Did Page Six Threaten To Date-Rape Vanessa Grigoriadis??" incident while simultaneously providing the most intense, detailed though-provoking analysis of the saga to date.

Naturally, the write-up concerns Page Six's ill-advised response to Grigoriadis' NY Mag "slam" which read: “Grigoriadis ignores the fact that half the Page Six staff is female. The male half might take her somewhere private and disprove her theory, but we don’t like a woman with a mustache.”

CONTINUED »

For a dating wunderkind such as Mandy Stadtmiller, "newsprint ass" is just another occupational hazard (others include "unwanted comparisons to hack writer Carrie Bradshaw" and "my parents think I'm a slut, and they're right.") Because, you see, when you're paid to have sex and then write about it, it's not long before everything becomes an aphrodisiac.

From Stadtmiller's most recent sexcapades:

Post Dating Cue Perfect Weekend Event No. 3:

“Mi casa es su casa,” he says as I explore the house and he goes off to buy a copy of The Post. He returns, the newspaper gets quickly cast aside, and once again we are Talking About Sailing.

“Uh,” I realize. “We just had sex on the New York Post.”

“It’s too bad,” he says. “If we planned it better, we could say we actually had sex on Page Six.”

“You’re right,” I say, “that would be hilarious.”

And by "hilarious" Stadtmiller actually means "the most action Bill Hoffman's seen since the late 1980's."

What does ex Page Six staffer Jared Paul Stern think about Bill Hoffmann's new gig as a Page Six editor? Well, he's not very impressed to say the least. Stern told Fishbowl New York he's not surprised the Page had to hire from within.

"Bill's a nice guy. And he's been writing about stupid celebrities and sparring with publicists for years. But it's not surprising they couldn't hire anyone new. I'm sure its very difficult to attract outside talent to a place that treats long-serving, loyal employees like crap. And they don't exactly stand by you in a fight, if you know what I mean."

Did you hear that Hoffmann? We hope he pays special attention to the part of the contract where it specifies offering protection in exchange for cash is not how the New York Post's mafia works.

Jared Paul Stern On Page Six Replacement: 'Difficult to Attract Outside Talent to a Place That Treats Loyal Employees Like Crap' [Fishbowl New York]
Earlier: Page Six Pulls Bill Hoffmann to Fill Empty Gossip Slot

After asking just about everyone under the gossip sun to join their staff, Page Six finally wrangled somebody from their own turf to fill the Page Six spot left open by the mass freelancer firing a couple months ago. Veteran New York Post reporter Bill Hoffmann will join Richard Johnson, Paula Froelich, and Chris Wilson at New York's vodka soaked page.

Last month, the New York Observer reported that Johnson had been conducting a broad search for potential candidates, speaking with a number of gossip-beat reporters and bloggers about the position. The Observer described the position as "legwork on the party scene…going to events at night and trolling for sources and tidbits."

Considering he'll be doing the work of Jared Paul Stern, Fernando Gil, Chris Tennant, and Lisa Marsh combined, we hope he's got of nightlife life left in him. Or, a year's supply of Redbull.

Breaking: NY Post Vet Bill Hoffman Joins Page Six [Rachel Sklar, Eat the Press]