Sean Avery, the New York Ranger who's set to become a Vogue intern (!) this summer, was hospitalized last night after lacerating his spleen. As Jossip reported earlier, the totally-straight Avery secured the Vogue internship after writing a letter to Anna Wintour. We don't know what was in the letter, but perhaps Avery and Wintour bonded over being "the most hated man in hockey" and the most-feared woman in fashion, respectively. Avery's duties at Vogue will include the usual intern bitchwork of messengering gowns, getting coffee, and making photocopies. The AP says that Avery is in stable condition and will only need to be hospitalized for a few days, so it won't interfere with his Starbucks and Hermès scarf runs. Maybe he should extend his hospital stay, though–he's gonna have to lose some weight if he wants to fit into those sample sizes.

*we tried to make a hockey ice/icy Wintour pun, but it just wasn't happening