SonyBMG has made Bob Dylan's video for "Subterranean Homesick Blues" the next Monk-e-Mail.

To promote “Dylan: His Greatest Songs” the company created a Web site and a Facebook platform that allows users to add personalized text in place of the lyrics from the original video.

Quick question: How many greatest hits does Dylan have?

It's great to know the lyrics about the 60s counterculture will be soon be replaced with “It was so good to see you at the Frat party last night. I got so trashed. Let’s meet up at the library soon. ;)”

• In the unbiased opinon of American Idol judge Simon Cowell, the legendary Bob Dylan pales in comparison to Kelly Clarkson.

• Don't expect Pat O'Brien's hosting contract to be renewed at The Insider. His bosses are citing his infamous drunk-dial as the primary reason, with his "creepy mustache" coming in at a close second.

• Drew Barrymore has possibly broken up with longtime beau Fabrizio Moretti; ironically, friends are citing the couples' past breakup history to predict that the pair will end up together.

• With or without his political playbook, Republicans don't think Rudy Giuliani has what it takes to blaze the campaign trail in 2008.

• Robin Williams wins over his critics by cracking hilariously irresistable jokes about lepers performing oral sex acts.

• Kelly Osbourne offers unsolicited, nude photos of herself in exchange for "major" amounts of Photoshopping.

• 50 Cent gets arrested "for being an asshole" in some proximity of Radar's NYC office. Staffers proceed to turn into celeb hunting paparazzi before our eyes. [Radar]

• Shakira wanted to be a serious musician, but then no one took her seriously. So then she took to being a singing stripper. [NYDN]

• The Scissor Sisters versus the guy from Pink Floyd? That's a catfight we'd buy front row tickets for. [NME]

• It seems the only people who don’t find James Blunt annoying are the soccer moms who buy his album while their kids are in school. [Yahoo]

• Bob Dylan is getting a little senile. That, or the acid finally started melting parts of his brain off. [MSNBC]

• Are these producers serious? Someone should show them a YouTube clip of a certain episode of Saturday Night Live. [Much Music]

• Bob Dylan’s assertion that new recordings suck may be due to the fact that he’s listening to his own voice, which no modern technology can improve. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Nothing ruins a good Lance Bass Stereo House party like a moldy pool tarp. [Page Six]

• Snoop Dogg takes a break from pimping himself out to the highest bidder and actually makes music. [NME]

• Willie Nelson (yeah, the guy from Half Baked) thinks those darn foreigners should stop killing and eating our horses. He then proceeded to carve himself up a nice steak. [Jam!]

• Maybe we're too picky, but "Fat Joe potato salad?" Sounds worse than eating freckled fire crotch. [HipHopGame]

• First Bob Dylan, now Dee Snyder? Satellite radio djs are all going to be washed up musicians. [NYDN]

• Kevin Aviance is back with a vengeance, and a fabulous new get-up, just in time for the parade. Watch out for an upcoming gangsta rap album. [Page Six]

• Just so we're clear, Slash still hates Axl Rose as much as we do. [MTV]

• With all these court payments on tap, Seal may have to ask Heidi Klum to cash in that insurance bond on her legs. [Jam!]

• Indy queens Sofia Coppola and Kirsten Dunst come together for a period piece. Ok, that sounded super lezzy, but you know what we mean. [AP]

• If TV can't help you find a man, and craigslist can't help you find a lover, and a Porsche isn't getting you the Long Island ladies, you can always listen to the radio. [FBNY]

• The New York Times earned itself a few points for giving Lost the attention it deserves. Even if it was an AP story. [NYT]

• Paris Hilton is a gay icon? Was this determined by her nipple flashing on the beach? We don't get it. [Socialite's Life]

• Of course! Why didn't we ever think of that? Cate Blanchett is totally the andrdodge Bob Dylan. Wait, did ever get out of the androdge phase? [Mollygood]

• Just in time for the release of his new movie's release, The Game gets popped for weapons charges. [HipHopGame]

• Our deepest fears about pop stars have been confirmed: they all secretly love country music. [MSNBC]

• You can breathe a sigh of relief folks — Elton John is not a huge dick. He'll just sue your ass for saying he is … and it will hurt. [AP]

• Tonight's the night that Taylor Hicks is announced as the country's next American Idol. Or we guess maybe the other girl will win … she did get that nice Katie Couric plug on the Today show this morning. [NYDN]

• So, we guess this new radio DJ gig means no more Victoria Secret commercials for Bob Dylan? [Jam!]

• Bob Dylan is set to become the oldest radio DJ ever. [Guardian]

• Nick Lachey's new album takes the Justin Timberlake route — he swears he didn't mean to hurt her, just make millions off their memories. Does he remember that she dumped him? [People]

• What do rapper DMX and college football star Vince Young have in common? BET found them interesting — or at least available enough — to make reality shows out of them. [Hip Hop Game]

• In other "old musicians way past their prime" news, Neil Young plans to follow his new album with a blog. We are breathless with anticipation. [PitchforkMedia]

• Michael Jackson wants to collaborate with 50 Cent. If this is his way of reaching out to America's youth, we'd just rather him not. [AP]

• Prince reassures everyone that he does not see Universal Records as "a slave ship". Sighs of relief, are followed by a proposal to change the label to Amistad Records. [Prince.org]

• Kanye West puts his Grammy campaign on hold— but just until he gets around to checking out the competition. It's only fair that he listen to it before resuming claims that he is bizest. [MTV]

• Can Bob Dylan still form sentances? If not, we guess he can just hum his way through his new radio show. [NME]

• In the UK, The Eagles are still soaring. Right under U2. [BBC]

• Musicians have requests, too, you know. And their assistants might get shot if someone gives them larger than desired crackers. [Radar]

• Yesterday's arguments at the Murder Inc. trial centered around whether a text message reading "I love the s*** out of you" was sent as a message of passion to Gotti's wife or as thanks for shooting 50 Cent to drug kingpin Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff. We're no technophiles, but it seems this debate could be settled fairly quickly with a glance at what the "To" address was. [Billboard]

• Ricky Martin told Blender that he is sure to treat all of his lovers "like a lady" (especially when they're fans of golden showers). His gentlemen callers must enjoy that. [R&M]

• Tis the season of coming together — for publicity of course. Over 50 members of the ATL music community, including Young Jeezy and Ludacris, came together for an MTV photo shoot. It's a nice holiday reminder than anyone can overcome differences if there are cameras. [MTV]

• Poetry written by Bob Dylan during his college years was auctioned off for $78,000. The 16 pages, entitled "Poetry Without Titles," cover, among other things, Dylan's desire to quit smoking. Sounds enthralling. [NME]

• Kylie Minogue announced that she will release a digital single including live versions of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Santa Baby" on Christmas of this year. Ricky Martin reported to be especially excited. [Kylie.com]