The race for the White House this year has been nothing if not a historic moment for gender and race issues, so it's only apropo that the commentators chosen by networks to moderate the debates reflect this change in socio-political discourse. That's why it's so refreshing to hear the Commission on Presidential Debates has chosen three old white guys to man the helm; Tom Brokaw for NBC, CBS's Bob Schieffer, and PBS's Jim Lehrer. Yeah, eff Andrea Mitchell, what with her lady parts and her stupid non-partisan politics. And screw Gwen Ifill, what with her full lips and broad nose. Stay the course, old white guys. Four more years!

EVERYONE AT CBS IS OLD Septuagenarian Bob Schieffer, the face of Face The Nation and former interim Evening News host, plans on retiring at the end of this presidential administration. "But I'll still have some relationship with CBS, at least I hope so," he told the AP. Well, he’s part of their news demographic. [AP]

That Katie Couric's troubles have erupted yet again over the past two weeks is no surprise to television news insiders.

First there was Gail Shister's bomb in the Philadelphia Inquirier, where Katie's future at the helm of the CBS Evening News was vehemently questioned — and undermined by anonymous CBS insiders. Then Roger Friedman went and fingered Bob Scheiffer and Leslie Stahl as the sources behind Gail's item, citing their disdain for the anchor.

So why is the insider hatchet job going down yet again?

Because that Katie Couric's Notebook flap wasn't a big enough scandal for those leading the pack.

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We were so distracted with the MTV Video Music awards last night, that we almost forgot it was Bob Schieffer's last day on CBS Evening News. And if hyped up powerhouse Katie Couric wasn't taking over, we would have missed it completely.

Katie starts September 5 — the day the world implodes — but before she does, she gave the longtime CBS anchor a sentimental send off.

We know you want nothing more than to watch YouTube clips on your last summer Friday of 2006. Say goodbye to Bob, to summer, and to any shred of hope that you will adopt Bob Schieffer as your Grandpa. We totally claimed him first.

Bob Schieffer Signs Off [You Tube]
Schieffer Signs Off: "Goodnight Everyone. I'll See You Next Time From Washington" [TV Newser]

310,000 viewers may seem like a lot, but in the world of nightly news, any number under a million in minuscule. (This also may seem like very boring news, but waiting for the Ellie winners to be announced is the most excruciating media event ever.)

So we have to give a little shout out to Les Moonves and CBS news for finishing sweeps week less behind ABC than last year.

The CBS EVENING NEWS WITH BOB SCHIEFFER finished the week of May 1 only 310,000 viewers behind ABC’s “World News Tonight,” narrowing the gap with ABC by 1.64 million viewers and with NBC’s “Nightly News” by 1.03 million viewers compared to the same week last year.

Yeah, we probably should give props to Bob Schieffer, too, but we just think everyone is practicing flipping to CBS in preparation for Katie Couric's big debut.

'CBS EVENING NEWS' ONLY 310,000 VIEWERS BEHIND ABC 'WORLD NEWS TONIGHT' [Drudge Report]

• James Frey donates his own books, not money, for a good cause. [P6]

• As Perez Hilton explains it, the Lindsay Lohan v. Jessica Simpson spat began as any catfight does: hairdressers and stylists. [Perez Hilton]

• It was always coming to this: Michael Jackson will unload part of his Beatles catalog to Sony to avoid bankruptcy. Well, at least at some point in the future. [NYT]

• Paula Abdul got tossed out of L.A.'s Xenii not because of a fight, but because her ass was druuunk. [P6]

• CBS prez Bob Schieffer and Katie Couric take their love affair to Michael's, complete with wrist corsage. [Lowdown]

• Congrats to Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard on their shotgun engagement. [Star]

• Meanwhile, Chad Michael Murray's new fiance isn't pregnant, and they're getting married anyhow. [People]

• West Wing creator Andrew Sorkin snags a starring role in a call girl's tell-all. [P6]

• It took a camera crew in a brothel, but Rita Cosby did it: she's number one on MSNBC, at least for a day. [TVNewser]

• Lest new CBS News prez Sean McManus actually make a decision about who's going to succeed Dan Rather, he's instead asked Bob Schieffer to "hang in there for a while longer." [NYT]

• Alleged firefighting rapist Peter Braunstein not only kept a list of women that he wanted to punish (his victim among them), he penned an "brilliant" unpublished novel Paparazzi where a celeb's stalker ends up falling for him. David Carr still isn't laughing. [Page Six]

• The New York Times' new sports magazine Play isn't exactly a publication for the smarties — just those who would rather spend their Sundays outside throwing around the football than inside, uh, reading the Times. [NYP]

• No more Index magazine? Ever since Organic Style shut down, we just haven't been the same — and we never will be if Vice suddenly becomes more relevant just like that. [WWD]

• Because JT Leroy may or may not exist, the New York Times has scrapped a freelance gig they farmed out to him (or her?) about Deadwood. Something about not wanting to fuel anymore credibility problems. [Page Six]

• Learning Annex chairman Bill Zanker was desperate to meet Rupert Murdoch, and lucky him, his $57,100 bid (for charity) earned him a lunch with the News Corp. head. But did he have to do it under the username "Wabanhood"? [NYP]

• Arthur Sulzberg Jr. expects politicians to open up on the record but, not surprisingly, he's not willing to do the same. [Slate]

Perhaps American Media Inc. is having such a hard time finding interns because they'll all decamped to CBS, where their opinions are actually being considered.

Okay, let's call it "being entertained."

A summer-long initiative that asked the network's nearly 100 college-aged interns on how to attract younger viewers to its news program culminated in a meeting with top execs. As the New York Observer tells it, interns were free to submit ideas ranging from anchor switches to set design so long as they didn't suggest moving the 6:30pm time slot of the evening news.

Among the suggestions: Replace Bob Schieffer with a younger anchor, more international news coverage, upping the time slot to a full hour, canceling the anchor-to-correspondent "debriefings" and adding weather and sports segments.

Nearly all of which were shot down by top brass.

The only warmly-received tips included a suggestion for MTV-style reporting and more coverage of minorities.

So how'd the NYO grab the story? By loud-mouthed interns, of course.

Several interns spoke with The Observer about their experiences, asking that their names not be used. (Shortly after an Observer reporter contacted a CBS coordinator last week, interns received an e-mail instructing them not to speak with members of the press.)

It's the responsibility of all unpaid help to speak eloquently to the gossips, and it's a pleasure knowing Viacom's minions are fulfilling their journalistic responsibility. Least of all because, as it turns out, CBS actually didn't give a shit.

“The purpose was so they could see how the business works,” Ms. Mason said last week, adding that the project was “for them. This was for them to learn. It was not for us. Frankly, we weren’t looking for ideas for the evening news. We have a whole group of people working on that right now.”

And they're doing a great job, too! One minute while we reference your Nielsen scores.

After all the memorial specials and colleague soundbites, it's still business over at ABC. It's been just one week since Peter Jennings' death and already ABC News prez David Westin has pulled his name from the network's World News Tonight.

But that doesn't mean they're any closer to naming a permanent successor, so Charlie Gibson and Elizabeth Vargas will continue to fill in.

Meanwhile, CBS's Les Moonves is also taking his time in naming the next host of CBS Evening News, leaving interim anchor Bob Schieffer in place. Only NBC had a transition plan in place, but it turns out that viewers don't care who's reading the news, as ratings are staying the same, emphasizing a point we made in early July: It doesn't matter which white guy sits in the chair.