• Prince Harry likes it when his girlfriend calls him "Big Ginger." Kinky!

• Guests of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker's wedding have an extra swag-ger in their step.

• There's nothing sleazy billionaire Ron Perelman likes more than pining away for his 7th grade crush sailing on his yacht with platonic friend Gina Gershon.

• Steven Spielberg is living in constant fear of his grandmother's chaise lounge.

• “I love big boobs on a woman,” admits a totally heterosexual John Travolta. “So I wanted [my character] Edna [Turnblad] to have them. My boobs and butt got a lot of attention on the set. The whole crew kept coming over and groping me. The scary thing is, I liked it.”

• Brandy takes a backseat to her porn star brother while waiting for that whole vehicular manslaughter thing to pan out.

• Cameron Diaz isn't going to kill Jessica Biel at the MTV Movie Awards. She's just going to kick her (gigantic!) ass.

• Pamela Anderson finally opens up to her kiddies about being a dirty, dirty porn star. Next step: explaining what those giant fun-bags are really made of!

• Mischa Barton was hospitalized over the weekend. Experts say it was likely some combination of malnutrition, tequila, antibiotics and the "I'm So Excited!" episode of Saved By The Bell.

• America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene Gonzalez cops to not having "a good head" on her shoulders, thereby confirming what we already knew. Then, she attributes it all to having been in an abusive relationship and makes us feel like an ass.

CONTINUED »

• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw's home is burglarized! No official word on the precise number of cowboy hats, snakeskin boots or tins of Skoal chewing tobacco are missing.

• Judith Regan gets advice from a sex-toy expert on her Sirius radio show; listeners (and Jossip editors) silently "throw up a little" in their mouths.

• Barbi twins tried, failed, to save Anna Nicole Smith by leaving her an impassioned unanswered voicemail.

• Meanwhile, the National Enquirer reports that—in addition to starving herself—Anna Nicole Smith was intentionally underfeeding baby Dannielynn so she's look "slim and sexy."

• Brandy celebrated her 28th birthday by blowing out the candles and wishing this whole vehicular manslaughter thing goes away faster than Ray J's sex tape.

CONTINUED »

According to TMZ, She's The Man star Amanda Bynes was involved in yet another celebrity car crash. Fortunately, she looks to be alirght, but we figured we'd take a look at all the facts just to be on the safe side.

Car-Crash Review Checklist:
• Multiple cars (Check)
• Pseudo-famous celebrity (Check)
• Police on the scene (Check)
• No deaths, or reports of vehicular manslaughter (Check)
• No $50 million lawsuits from the person-you-just-ran-over's family (Check)

And that, Brandy, is how it's done.

• Brandy hires a "crisis management specialist" to help her deal with all the negative publicity that comes with killing somebody and pretending everything is fine.

• According to Gatecrasher, a certain anonymous, morbidly obese oil heir has a bit of a Napoleon complex.

• The Game denies impersonating a police offer and ordering a livery cab driver to run a red ligh; admits being too cheap to simply "slip the guy a $100."

• Sienna Miller's rep denies reports that the Factory Girl sex scenes (with Hayden Christensen) weren't simulated, eliciting snickers by explaining "she's just a really good actress." Seriously.

• Jessica Biel isn't some cheap $10 hooker; she rents out at a nightly rate of $1950.

• Kristin Davis (Charlotte, on Sex and the City) is unnervingly emotional about horses. Related: Real-life Harry Potter wishes he'd trademarked the whole humans-with-a-crazy-horse-fetish thing.

• Liz Hurley forgets to invite BFF (and ex-boyfriend) Hugh Grant to her wedding for reasons that have nothing to do with his once cheating on her with a "total prostitute."

• It's getting hot in here. So take off all your clothes…EXCEPT the black, control-top pantyhose. Yes, you, Sienna Miller!

• A hopelessly lopsided Ivanka Trump to her plastic surgeon: You're fired!

• Black civil rights activists say Brandy's only being targeted because she's a celebrity; reality says, "nono, Brandy's being targeted because she committed vehicular manslaughter."

• Meanwhile, the family of the real victim slaps Brandy with a wrongful death lawsuit.

• Hilary Duff is the new Lindsay Lohan, y'hear?

• Kelly Ripa, possibly into tea-bagging, definitely not into talking about tea-bagging on the air.

• Despite not being nominated for an Academy Award, Beyonce is so serious about acting that she's started channeling her bitchy diva Dreamgirls character off-screen.

• Ever wish that following trashy gossip was a competitive sport? Well, now it is! Pickyour own fantasy team, cross your fingers and hope that your celebrity trainwrecks ship comes in!

• Republicans hate the fact that Giuliani's pro-choice and pro-gay almost as much as they hate the fact that Barack Obama is pro-terrorist.

• Brandy to get more than a slap on the wrist for killing someone with her car.

• Martha Stewart voices her support for Hillary, Rosie; admits to TiVoing Ellen DeGeneres.

• "Dresses to Di For" tour scrapped after Princess Di's ill-timed fatal car crash; tour to finally relaunch under new, less offensive name.

• Possible new couple alert: Scarlett Johansson and Marky Mark go on a funky lunch…date.

• Diddy bang Sienna or what?? London tabs getting feisty over rumors that Diddy, a new daddy, is diddling the mediocre actress.

• Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie eat a not-at-all staged dinner together; bond over mutual hatred of "unsightly" Mr. Chow doggie bags.

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We tuned into The View this morning to see if Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck would be so nice as to offer guest co-host Brandy a few lines of meaningless banter. What entertaining horror did we receive instead? Barbara Walters using the breaking news of Kenneth Lay's death – "there's only so much stress you can take" – as an segue into debating the father's role in the delivery room. Tune in tomorrow when North Korea's successful test missle launch guides us into a segment on tampons vs. pads.

• It's a D-List clusterfuck! (Ok, this has nothing to do with music, but we just wanted to say clusterfuck.) Spurned lovers Shar Jackson and Jason Alexander hop in bed together … well, actually, they hop into Brandy and Nick Cannon's bed. There, music. [Page Six]

• David Lee Roth is more of a handful of Howard Stern? Lloyd Grove is still talking about all things H.Stern related? [Lowdown]

• Big Screen Concerts brings completely sterile rock experiences to old people and kids with overprotective parents. The Phish movie attendees really don't care, or notice though. ('Cuz they were high … shh) [NY Times]

• Though it is a bit unnerving that Joel and Benji Madden are looking to get further into the movie business, we suppose this means we won't be getting a new album from Good Charlotte anytime soon — Martha would say "it's a good thing." [Reuters]

• GLAAD has lashed out at American Idol for Randy Jackson's comments to one contestant about his gender. But, we don't understand. The kid thought the judges were "racist," What's GLAAD got to do with it? [MSNBC]