• We don't any straight girl or gay man who isn't excited for the Sex and the City movie. The extended trailer proves why.

• We know we mentioned this yesterday, but here are more details about the Pax adoption. Even though Brangelina hyphenate, this kid's name is Pax Pitt. Porn career much?

• If Fergie and Donatella Versace don't share a biological father, then they at least share a plastic surgeon.

• News that Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey are starring in a rom-com is about as surprising as John McCain's reaction to the New York Times story. They do look cute, though.

• When you mash-up all their features, your beautiful celebrities aren't so beautiful anymore. You remain angelic.

• Pictures of David Beckham without a shirt on. Like you even need a quip to click the link.

Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.

luminary \LOO-muh-nair-ee\ noun 1 : a person of prominence or brilliant achievement; 2 : a body that gives light; especially : one of the celestial bodies

Say what you will about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but the two are luminaries in controlling their image as a couple.

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Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.

foozle \FOO-zul\ verb: to manage or play awkwardly : bungle

Knowing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's insensitivity toward Jennifer Aniston, they probably foozled the news of Angelina's latest pregnancy, if they told her at all.

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This week features the return of Brangelina. We hadn't missed them at all, but In Touch insisted on bringing back their favorite couple to grace the cover of this week's magazine. The story: Pregnancy rumors, again.

In other news, Heidi and Spencer are back to annoy us even more, and Britney continues to be absolutely insane. K-Fed is supposedly selling her out. Who would have guessed such a good parent would have ulterior motives?

Also this week: Intern Whitney, along with the state of Texas, hates Jessica Simpson and was totally right about Dannielynn being cross-eyed.

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Vacation's over, but the tabs have yet to recover from their holiday hangovers. It's a sad day when pictures of Katherine Heigl's wedding excite us.

With all the celebrity diet "exclusives," Intern Whitney was happy to see Brangelina on the cover of Life & Style. The mag takes their stalking abilities to the next level, monitoring their family's daily habits with a time chart. Ground breaking work, for sure.

Star has resorted to more ugly pictures of celebrities to make you feel better about yourself, and the mag also teases us with the idea of a Britney and Jamie Lynn crazy house! We'd go. Other great ideas: Making Mischa Barton the godmother of your child, finding love via public restrooms and proposing to a Kardashian. What a week.

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• Sharon Stone accidentally confuses her dress with a used tampon.

• Jared Leto finally shares his weight loss secret: curry powder and mediocre romps in the sack.

• We never thought we'd actually say this, but Amanda Peet could actually (gulp) benefit from the overpriced services of vapid raisin-face Rachel Zoe.

• Ozzy Osbourne reminds us all you need is sex, drugs, rock n' roll and…Botox?

• A bikini clad Pamela Anderson shows us, Kid Rock why she's still worth sucker-punching Tommy Lee smack in the middle of Alicia Keys' performance at the VMA's for.

• Apparently, the downside to being one of the numerous third world street urchins adopted by Brangelina is you have to sleep in their bed. (Or wait, was that the upside?)

• Mo'Nique is like Oprah twenty years ago: overweight and hellbent on world domination.

• If you ever find yourself laughing at a commercial, Slate is here to ruin it for you.

• Forget those old magazines with half of the pages stuck together. Now you can see those vintage Anna Nicole Smith crotch-shots on DVD!

• Forbes did the math and found out that investing in Matt Damon is actually more profitable than anyone could have imagined.

• Nothing says "I love you" quite like a Brangelina postage stamp.

• At least Madonna's illegally adopted African boy got a taste of the good life, for like, 5 seconds.

• A not-exactly-repentant Paris announces plans to keep a prison diary, which she will then auction off to the highest bidder.

• John Travolta continues to be embarrassed by his autistic teenage son, Jett. Meanwhile, Jett continues to be embarrassed by his pot-bellied Scientologist father, John Travolta.

• Meanwhile, "Because Brad and Angelina are not married they were unable to adopt a couple under Vietnamese law." Fortunately for Brangelina, other third world countries are far less stringent.

• Meanwhile, Calum Best endeavors to help Lindsay Lohan the only way he knows how: by "cruising for girls and getting as drunk as he could."

• Sharon Stone to play a "Hillary Clinton-type." You know, if Hillary looking like an aging 40-something sexpot.

• *NSYNC alums Joey Fatone and Lance Bass had to wait for five minutes "before being allowed into the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel." The horror!

Did you think Brad Pitt and Angelina were content with their brood of adopted/biological children? Think again.

According to new reports, the duo is still actively pursuing their joint dream of adopting a kid from every single country in the entire world, and now comes late word that their latest abductee adoptee will hail from Vietnam.

The Associated Press has just confirmed that Jolie filed papers at Vietnam's International Adoption Agency, apparently applying as a single parent to request a 3-4 year old tyke of the "chubby-cheeked, boy toddler" variety.

Not to be outdone, Us quickly reminds us of Jolie's historic pro-adoption stance, and her lifelong love affair with non-American countries.

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Apparently Jennifer Aniston was none too pleased about her bestie Courteney Cox making nice with Brad at Angie at the Golden Globes.

Natch, Aniston couldn't have been too angry, seeing as she just guest-starred on Dirt as a rivaling editor with a giant, lesbian crush on Cox's Bonnie Fuller-type character. But we can imagine she was less than thrilled to see Court extending an olive branch to the woman who ruined her marriage.

According to the National Enquirer:

1) Jen is pissed that Cox and her husband, David Arquette, "went out of [their] way" to approach Brangelina.
2) Angelina Jolie, like everyone else on the planet, is extremely comfortable during run-ins with her current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's friends.

Oh, and also, this:

At the Jan. 15 Golden Globes, Courteney and husband David Arquette bumped into Brad and Angelina during a break in the awards show.

"Jen is insulted that Courteney took the initiative and went straight up to Brad when he was there with Angelina," disclosed an insider.

"In Jen's mind, Courteney could have easily avoided them. It's like Courteney went out of her way to be super nice to Brad."

The "Babel" star gave Courteney a bear hug and cooed, "Hello, sweetheart. It is so great to see you."

And he introduced Arquette and Cox to Angelina as "dear friends."

Ouch, one could see how Aniston might have been momentarily miffed, though this hardly has the trappings for any sort of lasting rift. Still, apparently the very idea of Courteney acknowledging Angelina was enough to ruffle Jen's feathers.

But when it came down to picking sides, the husband-stealing/childnapping Angie still loses by a nose.

Update: When this item originally ran, we inadvertently misspelled actress Courteney Cox's name by neglecting to add the second "e," and then attributed the mistake to the National Enquirer. We're sorry for any distress this may have caused, and apologize to our friends over at the Enquirer for tarnishing their good name.

• Jennifer Aniston is ready to meet with Brangelina and clear the air, just as soon as "clear the air" becomes synonymous with "scratching Angelina Jolie's eyes out."

• Page Six shockingly reveals that Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's lovechild came into the world in the same way that she was conceived: amidst complete and total lunacy, and accompanied by massive amounts of heroin.

• Justin Timberlake promises not to suck in concert; refuses to make similar promise about his acting performance in Alpha Dog.

• Snag a cool, new style secret from ultra-glam couple Heidi Klum and Seal…and start adorning your lovemaking pad with giant, naked photos of yourself and your lover!

• If only Nicole Brown Simpson were alive today, she'd swear O.J. never laid a finger on her. Ironically, however, she's dead.

• Although Anne Hathaway's character does get to bone Adrian Grenier in the movie The Devil Wears Prada, in real life, working for Anna Wintour really, truly sucks.

Well, you heard it here first.** Brad and Angie have reportedly packed up and headed down to Nawlins, where they've been eating crawfish, hitting jazz clubs and blending in with all the Goths on Decatur Street…in between signing lucrative film contracts, talking to their agents and hobnobbing with the A-Listers at all the Hollywood award shows. Just like every other American family!

And so far, everything's seems to be going according to plan. In addition to confirming the move, Angelina told press at the Golden Globes that she and Brad "love it there," and outlined her intentions to enroll Maddox and Zahara in the local school system while she plays stay-at-home mom to baby Shiloh:

While Pitt works (he’s filming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button locally), sources say Jolie, 31, plans on being a low-key mom in the $3.5 million, six-bedroom, four-and-a-half bath mansion the pair recently purchased (their fourth house) in the French Quarter.

“She’s interested in befriending normal moms so she can do things with the kids,” says a Jolie source.

Indeed, family's always come first with Angelina, who has proven to be a genuine humanitarian—when it comes to saving her own adopted kids from the horrors of a life without paparazzi. Fortunately, Angie should be able to do plenty of kidnapping charity-work in her new, Big Easy digs. The 6-bedroom, four-and-a-half bath mansion should easily accommodate at least two more imported children, enabling Jolie to continue doing what she does best: saving the world one kid at a time.

**And by "first" we mean "second."