• Amy Winehouse was hospitalized due to exhaustion and sleep deprivation? Weird! We always figured that early riser fell asleep just as soon as her head (and 4-feet of hair) hit the pillow.

• SJP launches a new fragrance while simultaneously auditioning for the part of "Sky" in the revival of American Gladiators.

• Director Brett Ratner gets all touchy-feely with The Hoff.

• Katharine McPhee's skirt is blowing out like a candle in the wind.

• Rose McGowan is, like, Knights of the Round Table hot.

• Apparently, Scarlett Johansson is way too classy to portray Jenna Jameson in a major motion picture. However, she's evidently not above blowing Benicio Del Toro in a hotel elevator. Go figure!

• Rebecca Gayheart manages to spend a night with her ex, Brett Ratner, without accidentally-on-purpose running him over with her car.

• Ever wondered what Victoria Beckham would look like if she were less "trophy wife/former Spice Girl" and more "Suzy Homemaker?"

• Kelly Osbourne gives them the ol' razzle dazzle.

• Fat-bottomed (British) girls they make the rappin' world go round.

While Brandon Davis' assault on Lindsay Lohan was pretty freakin' entertaining, it didn't stop Brett Ratner from admitting he'd like to take off her clothes and take photos of her … in all her firecrotch glory.

I want to shoot some women. Halle Berry would be cool. And Lindsay Lohan … I'd like to shoot the Pirelli calendar. Wouldn't that be awesome? Hot!" Ratner gushed, referring to the famed calendar featuring nudes.

A young blond woman in tight jeans interrupted to ask: "Can you be requested to take pictures? Do you do nude shots?" The gum-chomping Ratner brushed her off, then confided: "I'd like to take nude pictures of girls. Not her, though."

Which didn't stop him from checking her out as she sauntered away. Ratner admitted: "I'm overpaid as a photographer, I've got to say. Way overpaid."

What he should have said was, "look bitch, do it doggie style with Billy Bob Thorton or learn how to cum freckles and then we'll chat about how I can profit from the sale of your body." But we guess Ratner has way too much class for that.

From 'X-Men' to X-rated women? [Lloyd Grove, Daily News]

Us Weekly has another Exclusive!

(Well, as exclusive as a follow-up report to a story broken by the only person not focused on Jared Paul Stern last Friday — he's from the other side of the country — could be.)

The story in question is a "cat fight" between Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson supposedly started over a round of drinks, Brett Ratner, and someone calling someone a variety of names. It does make us somewhat happy to have celebrities around … if only to break-up the depression caused by the fucked-up shit real people do.

Relays a source, “Lindsay said, ‘What’s the matter? When your sister is around, you can talk s—t about me, but now that Ashlee’s not here, what are you going to do? C’mon! I’m 19 and you’re 25. Say something, you coward!”

Hmm. That sounds pretty Lohanilicous if you ask us. Us Weekly says you should buy the magazine to get the rest of the story, but, it's pretty much already out there. Jann Wenner doesn't need any more of your money anyways.

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