Just because Brian Kilmeade is 1/3 of the "friends" part of Fox and Friends, doesn't mean FNC owes the guy any favors. Truth be told, you watch that show for fifteen minutes and see who the most replaceable anchor is. Steve Doocy? No way man, he's the closest thing Fox has to a level-headed conservative. And Gretchen Carlson is the pretty face, much to Kilmeade's ire.

No, finding another whiny, giggly, preening Republican wouldn't be too hard for Fox to find, especially since at least a couple people are still pulling for Elisabeth Hasselbeck to join the dark side.

So when word hit the street that Brian tried playing hardball with Fox execs for a contract re-up and got shot down, exactly nobody was surprised. Kilmeade is a diva, and the only unexpected outcome of his theatrics was that he didn't get fired on the spot.

But now Brian is backtracking and sending angry voicemails to Huffpost saying that he never asked for any special treatment at Fox. Well, except for one, small, absurd request.

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Brad Garrett, he of the nationally-viewed prostate exam and Till Death star, dropped by Fox & Friends after-the-hours show (which only airs online) and got deep into it with the The 'Dooce, in what is perhaps the most awkward ten minutes of Fox programming ever:

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Ugh, shut up Fox News. Doocy? You're ridiculous. Kilmeade? You're barely a sidekick. We're more than fine with watching you dump on Olbermann and Matthews, but it's exhausting to listen to you talk about the "way left" MSNBC, especially in the context of "commentators … used to do actual news anchoring," when you've got Brit Hume playing nonpartisan news anchor like you're fooling anyone. Sadly, you are. [via TVN]

Ninety-one-year-old Ernest Borgnine was on Fox and Friends this morning and told the Dooce something we never wanted to hear come out of pop-pop's mouth:

Fox News is getting plenty of crap for these two photos, of New York Times reporter Jacques Steinberg and television editor Steven Reddicliffe, an axed ex-employee there, which were completely manipulated to make the reporters look much worse than they actually do. Fox & Friends co-hosts Steve "The Whiny One" Doocy and Brian "The Lap Dog" Kilmeade weren't happy when Steinberg's byline was on a "hit piece," ordered by "attack dog" Reddicliffe, on their cable news network, which explained how CNN and MSNBC were narrowing the gap with the ratings leader. Foreheads were lengthened or shrunk, teeth were yellowed, and chins were made into bulbous appendages. As a matter of decency, however, there were no coke dots, pee stains, or drool scrawled across them. Video of the segment below.

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It's the most exciting thing on Fox News since Bill O'Reilly picked a fight with Keith Olbermann, during a live Fox & Friends broadcast correspondent David Lee Miller and his crew in Gaza take fire. Back in New York, the talking heads review what happened:

Brian Kilmeade: Clearly he's shooting at the press too. He's wearking a flack jacket that says "Press" right on it.

Steve Doocy: Yeah, but if you're somebody and you're long ways away and you just see something and you don't know who it is sometimes you just start shooting.

Brian Kilmeade: Really?

Steve Doocy: Yeah.

(via FBNY)