Oh hey guys, what's up? Nah, it's summer here in Alaska, and me and Todd are just gettin' ready to launch my '12 campaign. I was thinking of shaving my head though, what do y'all think?"
Eskimo hillbilly.
Yesterday marked the end of an ear-piercing, tween-infused era, thanks to the final episode of TRL airing last night — and it was live, which is more than we can say about it over the past couple of years. Has-been Carson Daly hosted the finale, which is fitting because the years he ran the show were the Glory Days for not only Carson but TRL itself. After many years of pimping out boy bands and Britneys, the show took a turn for the worst, no longer filming live, losing host after host, offering a haven for sad tweens who eat their hair — and making life miserable for Mollygood editors who braved the masses for their favorite singers.
Just when you start to feel sorry for motherless Kanye West, he has to go off on another one of his deranged tangents about things of no importance whatsoever. This time around, his anger is directed at the MTV Video Music Awards — one of the most legitimate and respected musical events of the year. Except, you know, not.
You see, Kanye thinks these awards shows — both in America and Europe — are "fixed," and he's not OK with the winners of this year's crop:
The cult classic Little Shop of Horrors has once again become relevant, thanks to the magical powers of YouTube. You see, the 1986 musical about a blood-sucking plant has an alternate ending that was changed at the last minute due to whining from test audiences. It apparently cost $5 million and 11 months to produce and was released for a mere five days back in 1998 until a copyright scuffle caused the DVD to be recalled. During the ongoing legal battle, Warner Brothers believed the original ending was lost in a studio fire — but voila! Here it is, lurking around the Internets.
The 24-minute alternate ending begins above and continues after the jump. It's magic!
Seriously, who would take love advice from Madonna these days? Or any day, really, but especially these days, in the middle of her public, messy divorce from Guy Ritchie.
But if Madge hasn't always been known for her brilliant love life, she does know how to put on a good show. So tonight at Dodger's Stadium Madonna will reunite Britney Spears and her ex (and first??) Justin Timberlake onstage as part of her Sticky and Sweet tour.
We're hoping the trio does some sort of dance representing the three stages of the pop star's career; the rise (Timberlake), the fall (Madonna), and the comeback (Britney). Although with those last two, it's pretty much interchangeable.
Back in 2003, before Britney Spears went batshit crazy, she attended a MTV bash thrown by Carson Daly (remember him?) and, having been upset by something the New York Post's gossip column published about her, donned this "PageSixSixSix" outfit, which is how celebrities get retribution. And tabloid headlines. How fitting, then, that heiress-model Lydia Hearst, who herself got so upset with Page Six — though it was Page Six Magazine — payed homage to Ms. Spears at a Halloween party last night with this simple identical number.
Right, because this is definitely happening, and not an obvious plant by one of three girls' agents in hopes of ratcheting up interest to "make it happen:"
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are rumoured to be in talks to star in a sitcom together.
US TV network HBO, which brought us Sex and the City, are reportedly keen to sign up the blonde trio to appear as flatmates struggling to make it big in Hollywood.
Oh, and it just gets better from there. Someone has an extreme case of schadenfreude.
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MTV launched a new music video website today, MTVmusic, that looks suspiciously like Hulu's embeddable player.
Although hey, we're not complaining. It was about time MTV started associating themselves with music videos instead of crappy reality shows about rich kids with expensive and inappropriate birthdays and True Life: I have Acne specials.
But now that you've spent so long searching for your favorite music videos on YouTube, is MTVmusic too little, too late? Or does the Hulu ripoff offer the distinct advantage of easier interface that drew people to Hulu's site to begin with?
Plus, the whole "embeddable" issue that official videos on YouTube sometimes won't let you do, should be a huge draw with the MTV Livejournal (is that still a thing?) crowd.
Compare players below with Britney's "Womanizer" video:
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Before Sarah Palin, Britney Spears was America's most fascinating trainwreck. And just as Bonnie Fuller suggests that Jamie Lynn may have gotten pregnant again to spite Bristol (unlikely, but who knows with these families), maybe the Alaskan governor's appearance on the national scene made Brit-brit pine for the days when everyone speculated over how she could possibly do/say such stupid thing. Hence, an MTV documentary about the popstar, For the Record! Out in November!
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Britney Spears was in New York this week, and traveled all the way up to the Bronx to visit some schoolchildren and sign autographs. Because someone decided to name a music room in a middle school after Britney. Awww! But also, whoops for that school.
Unfortunately, Britney arrived upstate (the Bronx is upstate) on Tuesday, which meant it was Rosh Hashanah, which meant school were closed, which meant Britney was all like "question mark???"
So Britney's handlers thought fast and led Britney inside the empty school, only to have her reemerge several minutes later to find a group of kids from a neighboring playground or something properly bowled over by the popstress. But um, some of these "kid quotes" sound awfully manufactured:
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There are approximately 12 pictures of Jamie-Lynn Spears' post-baby tahtahs floating around Louisiana right now, and the feds are looking to bust someone at Wal-Mart for peddling pornography. Just another day in the life of these classy Southern broads.
Spears' baby daddy Casey Aldridge took his digital camera chip into the superstore to get the pictures developed of Jamie Lynn breast-feeding their daughter Maddie, which is a totally normal thing to want pictures of, in order to show your daughter's future boyfriends when they come by the house.
Now it's believed that a security breach allowed a Wal-Mart employee to make copies of the pics with the intent to sell them online, which could land the culprit in federal prison if caught. Scandal!
And while we feel for Jamie-Lynn and Casey, there are two questions that this story raises: CONTINUED »
Rolling Stone, the increasingly terrible music magazine whose few pages of political coverage are now far more rock and roll than all of its rock and roll coverage, just released its What's So Funny? comedy issue, and it's already being crapped on, allegedly by an insider.
An anonymous person who claims to be one of the comedians highlighted in What's So Funny? sent a typed letter – complete with lots of spelling and grammatical issues – to the editors of RS admonishing them for their decision to cover bullshit, "gutless," "corporate" comedy acts. Judging by how many times Britney Spears has been on the cover of RS in the past decade, you'd think this "comedian" would have known by now that bullshit acts are kinda Rolling Stone's thing anymore. But no.
Oddly, for something that was supposedly written by a person whose job is to be witty, the letter sure is witless.
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Oh, Lynne Spears. Watching you on The Today Show trying to justify how badly you screwed up in raising Britney was one of the most entertaining things we've seen in quite some time.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas — even at the expense of children's birthdays, if you're Kevin Federline. The father of the year was in town for the Friday preview party for a new nightclub and had so much fun that he decided to stay for the weekend. One small problem: His sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, were celebrating their birthdays back in LA:
Is here, from TMZ.com's The Johnny Lopez: "Rock and Roll is officially dead when a spoiled brat from “My Super Sweet 16” would seem less out of place on the MTV red carpet than a band like Slipknot. [...] The last time the VMAs were even remotely fun was back in 2003 with the Britney/Madonna/Xtina kiss thing, then came the Miami and Vegas debacle years. RIP. Last year’s highlight – if you can call it that – was the world’s first live public crucifixion. So it’s only fitting that last night’s theme appeared to be redemption – at least as far as Britney and her armies of stylists and pharamacists are concerned. That being said, how can the show have any real clout when in reality, MTV’s best new artist is not a musical act – it’s Heidi and Spencer?"
MTV had its Video Music Awards last night and yeah, Michael Phelps was there though no one knows quite why he was asked to present. And freaky scarecrow sex-man Russell Brand hosted though no one knows quite what he was doing there, either.
Oh well, the real story here is about Britney Spears and her triumphant return to the stage after last year's debacle where the once tween queen appeared overweight and on the verge of mental and physical collapse.
This year Britney looked fine and healthy (if a bit wooden on the dialogue, but a Lexapro/Wellbutrin cocktail will do that to you), though the same couldn't be said about the show's audience, unfortunately:
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Britney Spears teased Sunday's MTV VMAs in a series of spots with the evening's host, comedian Russell Brand. This caused everyone to speculate she was going to re-do last year's dismal performance. But then MTV issued a release, saying that while Spears will open the show, she wouldn't be performing.
And then MSN just happened to "get its hands on" this "secret Britney video" that shows the pop star rehearsing choreography to what sounds like a new (utterly terrible) track. Which feeds speculation that she will perform. At least she would have practiced the dance steps once or twice this time.
Hats off to MTV — because whether she dances on stage or not, they've got the blogs, and TV viewers, on the hook with suspense. Check back next week to see if Nielsen agreed.
For the last few idiots left who look to Lynne Spears for parenting advice, consider this: The woman just leaked some of the "shocking" revelations from her new tell-all disguised as a celebrity parenting how-to in an effort to garner some publicity. The revelations include stories about Britney's sex life and drug and alcohol abuse, which would be surprising if the wise Road Kill Willie hadn't already spilled the beans.
Apparently Lynne claims that Britney began drinking alcohol at the age of 13, when she joined the Mickey Mouse Club. By 14, she had lost her virginity to an 18-year-old football player from her hometown, and by 15 she was taking drugs. Lynne details "the horror when Britney, just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet."
We thought Larry Rudolph put an end to the rumors about Britney Spears performing at this weekend's VMAs, but MTV won't shut up about it. According to the network, Brit will be opening the show, but "it is not a performance."
If anyone saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the highlight of the film was Russell Brand's character, Aldous Snow. What could have been a one-dimensional role as a egotistical, sex-obsessed rock star was actually given depth and humor by Brand's portrayal of Snow as a recovering alcoholic with a little more self-awareness than perhaps any of the other characters in the Apatow factory churn-out.
American audiences might not have been in on the joke, which is that Brand himself is a comedian and musician, and that his public persona of a disheveled, disorderly rock star was never just an act; the Brit has struggled with a heroin problem, alcoholism, and sex addiction, all of which he has "kicked with professional treatment." But with Amy Winehouse having to phone in her Grammy performance earlier this year, and Britney Spears' infamous performance at the VMAs in 2007, why have producers pegged Brand to be the host of the MTVs Video Music Awards this year? And more importantly; who is really in on the joke:
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Editorial Director
