If Mother Theresa, Brooke Astor and Princess Diana are responsible for helping to restore our faith in humanity, Brandon Davis is responsible for singlehandedly destroying it. [Mollygood]

"One sometimes hears, 'Who will be the next Brooke Astor?'” says Barbara Walters, of her recently departed friend. "But there will never be another Brooke Astor. She was unique—charming, wise, funny, elegant and, most important, generous."

And we couldn't agree more.

After all, there's Astor, a true philanthropist and generous soul, donated her life (and over $200 million of her fortune) towards charital pursuits and was of the firm belief that money—like manure—"should be spread around."

And then there's the modern "socialite," the Tinsley Mortimers and Oliva Palermos, who are far too wrapped up in her own petty elitist squabbles to even attend a charity fundraiser (see today's Page Six) and, of course, the Paris Hiltons, who are of the firm belief that venereal diseases—like manure—"should be spread around."

We'll miss you, Brooke.

When Brooke Russell [Astor]was born March 30, 1902," writes the Washington Post, "Theodore Roosevelt was president, the U.S. had only 45 states and the Wright brothers had yet to make their first flight."

One hundred and five years later, former frat-guy/legacy George W. Bush is our president, America has 50 states (some of which still, apparently, don't understand how to work the damn voting machines) and Southwest Airlines has ordered that any/all passengers "who are unable to lower the armrests (the definitive boundary between seats) and/or who compromise any portion of adjacent seating should proactively book the number of seats needed during initial reservations."

Rest in peace, Brooke. It's been one hell of a century.

• Even the subway stations in Park Slope are prettier. See, when you fill a neighborhood with babies, tea, and lesbians, this is what you get. [Across the Park]

• Happy Labor Day Hamptonites! (We're so evil.) [The Beach]

• If you must put yourself through the act of reliving 9/11 Salon knows which television outlet you should turn to. [Salon]

• Sure, the sign says "no parking," but how is anyone really supposed that those signs are real? [NYDN]

• If only Brooke Astor had not been rich. Then she wouldn't have to be sad that all the things she loved are gone. [NYT]

Remember the little story about Brooke Astor … the 104-year-old socialite whose son made her sit on a pee-soaked coach and put Vaseline on her face? The Daily News were the ones who broke the story last week, and immediately after, all court documents were sealed. Which is why, when the New York Times ran the story, they pulled much of their news from, uh, the News. The credit for the info came not on Page One, but in the middle of the Metro section. Did the News care? Not really.

“The Times story is a long story [and] they did credit the News,” said Helen Peterson, the Daily News reporter who broke the story.

As for being relegated to the middle of the Metro section: “I guess they wish they had it a day earlier,” she said.

“Of course the Post didn’t credit us.”

A little fact Daily News editor in chief, Martin Dunn, was pleased about.

“Thankfully, we kept our name out of the New York Post,” said Mr. Dunn. “If they had a big story, the chances of us crediting them are between zero and slim—and slim left out.”

“So there is no fucking way we would ever, ever, ever credit them,” he continued. And then, almost as if in an aside to explain the show of bravado: “We’re deadly rivals with them.”

Ooooh! Deadly rivals! Saying "fuck!" This is totally the stuff reality TV is made of.

Off The Record (2nd Item) [Michael Calderone, New York Observer]

• Finally, we can start drinking at 8 am on Sunday morning. How in the world did New York go so long without this law? [ABC]

• We almost recommended checking out this very interesting New York Times article … until we got down to the part where they call the South Bronx "SoBro." Can we please make it stop before we're calling New York NeYo? [NYT]

• What's so special about August 14? Oh not too much — just that Boy George will be sweeping your street. [NYDN]

• Brooklyn is officially a real place in New York. Even tourists want to see how the outer burroughed live. [Newsday]

• Brooke Astor's son Anthony Marshall reminds NYC heavyweights that it's not nice to around telling the papers how badly he's mistreating him. Some people just have no manners. [NYP]

Remember yesterday's cover of the New York Daily News? The story in which we learned poor old Mrs. Brooke Astor was being forced to take cheap ass versions of medicine and rub Vaseline all over her face because of her dickwad of a son Anthony Marshall?

Well, in case you've forgotten, the News would like to remind you that they brought you this story. Here's the sappy photo to prove their dedication to getting you to buy their newspaper.

In addition, the News has five (five!) articles on the topic &mdsash; most of which revolve around the fact that they broke this story. Good old New York dailies. Always making the effort to bring the stories that matter. Even if it takes the giant sacrifice of 10,000 words of self promotion.

Love-filled memoir before the betrayal [Michael Daly, Daily News]
The fight to save Brooke [Helen Peterson, Daily News]
Those who adore her call treatment 'sinful' [James Kirchick and Dave Goldiner]
Astor's place [David Hinckley, Daily News]
Why she's your Miss Brooke [Joe Dziemianowicz]