• Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney apparently found religion just in time to dodge coincidentally avoid the Vietnam draft.

• Calista Flockhart soars to an impressively "not imminently alarming" BMI.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger continues to quietly hire gay politicians. Talk about being in the closet cabinet!

• After months of unofficially shagging Eddie Murphy, Tracey Edmonds has finally gotten around to officially divorcing Babyface. Related: Murphy still unofficially recognized as a douchebag for refusing to officially recognize his baby daughter.

• Meanwhile, a shark has a mysterious one night stand, shocks aquarium employees by getting knocked up.

• V Cast subscribers can now watch Cartoon Network on their phone … if only those stoners that watch Adult Swim could figure it out, then Verizon would be in good shape. [Star Pulse]

• Matthew Broderick didn't realize that when he went to a childhood creativity luncheon, he would be asked about creativity. What he does know is that his son is gay. [Page Six]

• All it takes to be Tommy Lee's replacement is the knowledge of how to operate the "boobie" cam and a Starbucks resume. [SFG]

• The Italians worship Sophia Loren. They love her so much, they thought they'd give her a show at their museum just to point out that she's getting old. [Houston Chronicle]

• Calista Flockhart finally admits she had a little problem putting food in her mouth, chewing and swallowing. We think Nicole Richie looks a lot better. [The Mirror]

• Only in the UK would a guy put his mother-in-law up for sale. On eBay off all places. [Sun]