What to make of this report in The Sun about how Lindsay Lohan called ex-boyfriend Calum Best to scream at him for releasing their cell phone sex tape? "A source, who overheard the rant, said Lindsay was screaming: 'I can't believe you would ever f***ing do this to me, I should have listened to everyone. I should never have f***ing trusted you.'"
Lohan's camp has already denied she's the one on the tape (as has Best), and evidence on Xtube.com suggests the video doesn't feature either of them.
So either: 1) The Sun completely made up this story; or 2) There actually is a Lohan-Best sex tape, but it wasn't the one we've seen.
So maybe that isn't Lindsay Lohan in that sex tape that's going around? Ex-boyfriend Calum Best swears it isn't him, and now at least one gossip blog says that's not Lindsay. The evidence? This crappy cell phone-recorded video on XTube. Need we even mention it's NSFW?
Calum Best denies that's him in the Lindsay Lohan sex tape. The rebuttal came from his rep, which begs the question: Calum Best has a rep? [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan hires a private detective to dig up dirt on her ex-boyfriend Calum Best. Because when you're Lindsay Lohan, finding out that your boyfriend cheated on you with two coke-addled prostitutes and photographed the entire thing apparently isn't enough.
• Tired of all the negative publicity, Usher finally gets around to marrying that fiancee he's been sleeping with on the side.
• Mena Suvari pulls a Britney, sans fried chicken.
• The price of Ted Koppel's superfluous starter home? $2.3 million. The image of a banana-hammock clad Ted Koppel swimming laps in his indoor pool? Priceless.
• Mayor Bloomberg reports for jury duty, tells bailiff at county clerk's office "You ask me about that sexual harassment suit and I'll have your boss' boss' boss fired."
• "Which network news executive had to confess to cheating on his partner after he caught hepatitis?" asks Gatecrasher, who adds, "he had to tell the 50 party guests whose food he prepared by hand the day before he was diagnosed."
• Unemployed actress Sally Kirkland dons blackface and a Lionel Richie "fro" and poses beside Nicole Richie—presumably because (a) they're all crazy, and (b) Angelina Jolie was unavailable.
• Meanwhile, the next time Paris Hilton screams, "Why won't those awful paparazzi just leave me alone?" simply shake your head and remember that she's a crazy, lying mess.
• Lauren Conrad accidentally-on-purpose broke Brody Jenner's finger during a heated game of touch football. Natch, Jenner didn't let it ruin his beer buzz and had resumed his normal activities (read: binge-drinking and spending his father's money) within hours.
• JLo and her skeletal hubby Marc Anthony claim they couldn't be more "normal." Assuming "normal" is slang for "stuck-up rich people, one of whom has a disproportionately large ass."
On the same day People "exclusively" reports that a sober and miraculously healed Lindsay Lohan has checked herself out of rehab comes rumors that there are naked photos of LiLo (snapped by ex-fling Calum Best and hacked from her home computer) circulating around the internets.
Amazingly, uber-flack Leslie Sloane Zelnick has trouble even feigning indignation.
Regarding the photos, Lohan's rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, told Page Six, "Anything is possible."
And as if that wasn't enough to lead a recovering alchy to drink, comes further news that her guardian and tutor on the set of Mean Girls (a Canuck by the name of Andrea Dena) has penned a salacious roman a clef centered around a completely fictional promiscuous/alcoholic teen star named Maddy Malone.
• Instead of having her children taken away by Child Welfare Services, Dina "Mom of the Year" Lohan gets rewarded with her very own reality show. About parenting. On the E! channel!
• Fat Joe "emerges for Summer Jam," begging the question: How easy is it for someone named Fat Joe to disappear?
• Jay-Z may have popped the question to Beyonce, thereby adding "marriage" to his list of 99 problems.
• Lenny Kravitz and Steven Bing sat in a car and listened to "extremely loud music" together.
• A source close to newly reformed Calum Best (i.e. his publicist) suggests that Best is much calmer now that he's not under Lindsay's bad influence.
• Insiders say Paris Hilton's diary "will make a more dramatic reading than Martha Stewart's." Presumably because her gaunt, willowy body will appeal more to fellow inmates.
• The mental picture of firecrotch Danny Bonaduce "shoving his junk" into a stripper's face is enough to make us vomit a little. But for those of you with strong stomachs, there's also a video!
• Has anyone else noticed how utterly transparent Courteney Cox has become?
• Sienna Miller bonds with Keira Knightley while filming The Edge of Love, a.k.a. the film that booted Lindsay Lohan for being a total shitshow.
• Paulina Rubio performs on TRL. Rubio remembers her lyrics, forgets to wear pants.
• Meanwhile, Calum Best is vying to become the next K-Fed.
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